


Lay it on the Line

by normalfault



Series: more's not a crowd [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Agoraphobia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Kuroo is a meme, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not Canon Compliant, OT4, Panic Attacks, Sex mentioned, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Yamaguchi Tadashi is a Good Friend, akaashi is one of my favorites lol, description of panic attack, i will carry teruyama on my back, massage therapist tsukki, masseuse!Tsukki, no smut tho, panic disorder, tsukki has mental illness, tsukki is smart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:53:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25238029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/normalfault/pseuds/normalfault
Summary: First of all, both the guys Yamaguchi brought in, all big smiles and bigger laughter, were hot as fuck. Tsukki might be an anxious mess, but he wasn’t blind. He swallowed, composing himself and putting on his best customer service smile. They would be gone in an hour, and he wouldn’t even have to see their faces for most of it. “Welcome to-”“Dude, you didn’t tell us the other guy was gonna be hot,” The shorter of the two whined, clinging onto his friend (boyfriend? Hook up?) with a dramatic swoon. The hand on his towel moved, and the covering slipped dangerously low. Lord, help him.---Tsukki is a masseuse and Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kuroo keep coming in for couples massages with different people. Chaos, confusion, romance, and drama ensue
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Akaashi Keiji/Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji/Tsukishima Kei, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou/Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Terushima Yuuji/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: more's not a crowd [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1839094
Comments: 273
Kudos: 1062





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i based the title off of big time rush's song big time rush anyways
> 
> \--
> 
> chapter 1 is a sort of funnier intro to the rest of it, but be warned it will be angsty and it will get a plot! i promise <3

Tsukki dropped out of college, and said he would become a stripper. He had no sense of rhythm, hated too much attention, and the thought of creepy old men feeling him up disgusted him, so he gave up on that and decided to become a masseuse instead. He didn’t hate it (he actually kind of loved it), and he wound up being ridiculously good. He got hired quickly, made friends with the staff, and found himself looking forward to something for the first time in forever. 

He clocked in at the spa, running a hand through his blonde hair with a sigh. He had an all day shift today, but he was thankful to get his mind off of the issues of his life. Their secretary, Yachi, waved hello to him on the way in, and he waved back blearily. He was tired, not that he had any reason to be, it’s not like he ever did anything outside of work anyways. 

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi was already in then. Tsukki plopped down on the staff room sofa and blinked up at the ceiling. “Did you sleep last night?”

“I tried,” Tsukki muttered, after a small silence. “Couldn’t fall asleep. How were your classes?” Actually, Tsukki was terrified to close his eyes. He stayed up late at night, clutching onto a pillow tightly, having convinced himself that if he slept, he’d die. Someone would break in - his heart would stop beating - he would have a stroke. A part of the Tsukishima experience.

“They were good! You should sign up for those online classes I texted you about!” Yamaguchi pesters him, poking into his side. Yamaguchi always said that, even before Tsukki started tutoring him in English and math. “You’re so smart! You could do it! Plus, there’s a scholarship” Tsukki hummed noncommittally. Yamaguchi frowns at him, feeling at his forehead with gentle patience, “do you have a migraine?” 

“Not yet,” Tsukki murmured. But he could feel the edges of one forming already. He could never lie to Tadashi; if he tried, Yamaguchi either ignored him or called him out on it. He was in the mood for neither. Ironically enough, Yamaguchi had introduced himself to Tsukki shyly when he started working there, but quickly warmed up to him. He was an outwardly anxious kid; he was also funny and smart and loyal. Tsukki had taken to him almost immediately.

“Lay down for a bit with me then?” Yamaguchi offers him, and Tsukki obliges, leaning into Yamaguchi’s godly fingers on his temples. Working at a spa gave you great friends with amazing massage capabilities. “Hm. I’ll get you an ibuprofen.”

“Thanks” Tsukki muttered. “Are we doing that couples massage today?” Couples' massages were the worst. Most of the time, the guy was super masculine and weird about it and then got all annoyed when a guy masseuse touched their girlfriend. It was ridiculous, especially considering they literally paid for it. 

“Yeah,” Yamaguchi smiled. “Two really beefy guys!” Tsukki groaned, rubbing at his eyes. Great, either they were athletes who wanted the couples discount or possibly an actual gay couple (which was ideal, really, they always stayed in their lane). “It’s our early appointment, too. Starting off rough.” Big guys meant more muscles meant more physical labor. A tragedy.

“At least there won’t be any jealous straight men,” Tsukki points out, sitting up and praying the clock would go slower. “Let’s get the room set up.” 

The room was one of their bigger ones, and Tsukki set up the towels on the beds while Yamaguchi turned on their essential oil diffuser. “Which blend should I use?”

“One with peppermint,” Tsukki takes off his glasses to rub at his eyes and get himself in the mood for business. Yamaguchi and Tsukki had completely different ideologies on how massages should go: Yamaguchi was spiritual about it, which Tsukki thought was kind of ridiculous, but nevertheless. He set up crystals around the room for some kind of chakra alignment and made sure to cleanse the room with incense before starting. Tsukki was methodical - not to discount Yamaguchi’s strategy, he was one of their more popular male massage therapists. Tsukishima preferred to focus on his technique and the client, honing in on what he would actually wind up doing instead of the spirituality of the whole thing. Together, they were masters at the double massage practice. 

“They’re here early,” Yachi calls to them. Tsukki grimaces. Great, perfect. And they were _loud_. Tsukki could tell already. He wrung his hands in front of him, giving Yamaguchi a furrowed brow and eyes at the floor kind of look. 

“Alright, fine,” Yamaguchi rolls his eyes, but he smiles. “I’ll go entertain them for a bit. Can you set up the oils and stuff, Tsukki?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Tsukki grumbles his response, but god is he grateful. The morning was already a rough one, and his headache medication was still kicking in. He could not handle two new people yet. “Thanks, Tadashi.”

Tsukki finishes up the room and takes a deep breath before opening the door at exactly when the clock said it was time to start. He could do this. He was just at work, in his little massage room. He would be fine. 

He was not fine. First of all, both the guys Yamaguchi brought in, all big smiles and bigger laughter, were hot as fuck. Tsukki might be an anxious mess, but he wasn’t blind. He swallowed, composing himself and putting on his best customer service smile. They would be gone in an hour, and he wouldn’t even have to see their faces for most of it. “Welcome to-”

“Dude, you didn’t tell us the other guy was gonna be _sexy_ ,” The shorter of the two whined, clinging onto his friend (boyfriend? Hook up?) with a dramatic swoon. The hand on his towel moved, and the covering slipped dangerously low. Lord, help him. Tsukki would not blush. Yamaguchi barely holds in a laugh at Tsukki’s mortified expression. 

“What are you doing after this, Glasses?” The taller one winks at him, leaning in. His look is borderline hungry, and Tsukki feels like he’s getting devoured. 

“My job,” Tsukki deadpans. 

“Hah!” The taller one laughs out loud. He has black hair and golden eyes and Tsukki feels a blush crawl up his neck into his cheeks. “You’re funny too? What the hell, Freckles! You didn’t warn us about this!” 

“Don’t make me request a switch,” Tsukki crosses his arms, frowning. Yamaguchi pats him on the back lightly, which startles him for a second before he can calm himself down. “Hurry up and lie down before I change my mind.”

“You wound me…” The shorter one squints at his nametag and Tsukki resists the urge to flip it over so it can’t be read. “Tsukishima! Cute!” 

“I’m leaving-” Tsukki starts to say. 

“No no! Wait! We’ll be good! Pinky promise!” The shorter one gives him a huge, blinding grin and Tsukki is somehow _more embarrassed, oh god why is this happening to him_ \- “My name’s Bokuto! And this bed-headed freak is Kuroo!” 

“Hey!” Kuroo moves towards the table and grins. “This might be the best idea we’ve ever had, Bo.” 

\---

Tsukki could not be happier to be over with the massage from hell. Kuroo kept fucking _moaning_ the whole time, and Bokuto would snicker. “Tsukki just touched my ass!” He told Bokuto in a mock whisper. 

“You’re paying for me to touch your ass! And don’t call me Tsukki” Tsukki was gonna kill them both, teeth gnashing together in an almost painful manner. “God, Yamaguchi, can we switch?”

“Yeah! Switch! Switch!” Bokuto cheers, sitting up. Tsukki has to grab onto the table to keep himself from clawing Kuroo’s back. 

“Lie back down,” Yamaguchi scolds, pushing him down. “Come back another day and request Tsukki.” 

“You can request someone?!” Bokuto is sated. “I’m coming back a million times!” 

“Why would you _tell him that_?” Tsukki hisses, smirking to himself as he dug particularly hard into one of the knots in Kuroo’s shoulder. “God! You’re done! Get off my table!”

“I don’t have any clothes on, but if you wanna see my dick that bad then-” Kuroo starts to say, about to stand up. 

“Ok! I’m leaving! I’ll ring you up!” Tsukki shouts, face red. He moves to the door, leaving Yamaguchi snickering behind him. This was the worst fucking day ever, but he couldn’t help acknowledge the fact that his mood definitely rose after meeting the two morons in his room. And Kuroo’s muscles were nice, Tsukki would know. 

“We’ll be back, Tsukishima!” Bokuto promises him, and Tsukki rolls his eyes. He doubts it - he really does. Part of him hopes that they show up again. And again. And they keep coming back because Tsukki hasn’t felt this at ease in ages. He almost forgot what it felt like, as much as he loved Yamaguchi, he didn’t make him forget about his issues as much and Kuroo and Bokuto were seemingly able to. But Tsukki had more massages that day, so he managed to put them into the back of his mind. Likely, he would never see them again. He would just have to understand that. 

\---

The next morning, Tsukki was having an overall peaceful day. He had one client, who he had worked with before. She was calm, and always asked for light pressure (a masseuse's dream) “You’re back!” He hears Yachi giggle lightly, and the low voice that answers him sends a shiver down his spine. Oh my god. _He_ was here. 

“Yes ma’am!” Kuroo lilts, leaning into the counter as Tsukki practically runs into the employee lounge. 

“Yamaguchi,” Tsukki hisses, watching his friend look up from his lunch. “He’s fucking here again.” Tsukki is beet red and sputtering, obviously distressed.

“Bedhead or frosted tips?” Yamaguchi picks at his salad uninterestedly. Tadashi and his stupid schemes to get Tsukki to be more social!

“Does it matter?!” Tsukki groans in response. “Yamaguchi, do something!” 

“Tsukishima! Two clients requested you!” Yachi calls from the main room. Yamaguchi starts laughing, snickering behind a hand as Tsukki buries his head in his hands. 

“Tsukki, it’s my lunch break! Looks like you’re gonna have to go talk to them!” Yamaguchi tells him, fake pity overcoming his normal speech pattern. “Meet you out there!” Tsukki pleads as much as he can with wide eyes and a frown, but Yamaguchi is not having it. “C’mon Kei. It’ll be good for you to meet people to talk to that aren’t me!” For a second, Tsukki wonders if he’s too much for Yamaguchi. If he wants him to have more friends because he needs to unload the burden of how (terrible, awful, cruel) exhausting Tsukki could be. No, he reminds himself, Tadashi just wants him to genuinely meet new people. “Although those guys looked like they wanted to eat you alive instead of be your friend-”

“Shut up!” Tsukki scowls, leaving the room with a huff. Ok, ok he could do this. He was an employee here. He sees Kuroo and regrets this decision immensely. For one, Kuroo is still hot. He also had one of the prettiest human beings Kei had ever seen in his life with him. Was Kuroo cheating on Bokuto? Was this just a friend he dragged along to see Kei again? Why were they even flirting with him if they were dating? 

“Tsukki!” Kuroo shouts, interrupting his stream of thoughts. “See ‘Kaashi! I told you he was gorgeous!” Whoever ‘Kaashi’ is nods appreciatively. 

“Hello, my name is Akaashi Keiji,” Akaashi waves to him politely. “I apologize for any inconvenience Kuroo or Bokuto might have caused you.” 

“Hey!” Kuroo pouts, hanging off of Akaashi’s arm with a sigh. “C’mon! Tsukki’s hands are magic.” He winks at Tsukki who grimaces and points them towards the couple's massage room. Akaashi makes small talk with Kei absentmindedly, and Tsukki finds himself enjoying a conversation with a stranger (which is rare). He laughs at Akaashi’s teasing and makes eye contact. Kei hasn’t made eye contact with a new person in years, but Akaashi’s blue eyes are captivating. He really is pretty. 

“New friends, Kei?” Yamaguchi teases him when they all walk in. “Welcome to the Karasuno Spa! It’s wonderful to meet you, and see you again Kuroo!” Yamaguchi smiles brightly as he welcomes them in. 

“Kei?” Kuroo teases. The name sounds sinful on his tongue, and Tsukki maintains his composure by glaring profusely at Yamaguchi. “That’s a cute name.”

“Kuroo, please stop harassing the employees.” Akaashi deadpans, he shakes his head. “I’m sorry about him. He is _immature_ and does not want me to make him dinner.” 

“I’ll be good!” Kuroo pretends to zip his mouth shut. “Show Akaashi those magic hands, yeah?” He brushes past Kei, who does not flinch (what is going on). 

  
“That is _not_ being good, Tetsurou,” Akaashi scolds him. “I have heard a lot about you from Bokuto and Kuroo both.” He assures Tsukki. “But, as much as this means, you are already pushing far past my expectations.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is crazy fun to write! just an fyi, i headcanon kuroo as a massive terrible flirt lol

For some reason, despite the fact that Tsukishima normally preferred to work in silence, Akaashi’s silence with Tsukki’s hands on him felt...erotic? Tsukki had no trouble with his job - despite having plenty of clients joking about happy endings, he had never been tempted to play that kind of game. Not only was it unprofessional, but he also hadn’t had sex in ages. He had tried a few months back to hook up with someone he met on tinder, had a fucking mental breakdown over it, and never tried again. 

That didn’t help Tsukki right now, wanting his hands to linger in all sorts of inappropriate ways, ignoring Yamaguchi’s stupid _eyebrow waggles_ at him like he was a high schooler with a crush. Which he kind of was. Except on three people? Tsukki did not have time to understand what that meant; he was confused already at the nature of Kuroo’s relationship with Bokuto and then Kuroo’s relationship with Akaashi too. Maybe Kuroo was just fucking with him. “Tsukki! We have to check them out!” Yamaguchi tells him, and Tsukki forces himself to refocus. “Little distracted there?”

“Do you think that Kuroo is cheating on Bokuto?” Tsukki blurts out, blinking down at the ground and readjusting his glasses. “I mean because-”

“Hmm…” Yamaguchi frowns, “You could ask? Maybe they’re all really close friends?” Yamaguchi must be able to tell Tsukki is concerned because he stops joking around and comes a little closer. “Hey, it’s cool if you don’t want to help me check them out. Are they overwhelming you too much? I thought it was a good type of overwhelmed so I-”

“No! No, you’re good. Don’t be ridiculous Tadashi. You don’t have to dote on me.” Tsukki clears his throat and makes his way out of the room, yawning to himself. He needed a nap; if no one scheduled him, he would definitely take one in the staff room. “Thank you for coming to Karasuno.” Tsukki fake-smiles at them and Kuroo seems taken aback by it. “We hope to see you again-”

“Are you ok?” Kuroo asks him, interrupting his normal post-service speech. “Did we make you uncomfortable? I’m really sorry, Tsukki.” Kei has no idea how to handle that. He had prepared for most of the situations he had already had with the group, but that one was new. 

“Um-” Tsukki starts to say, cheeks turning red. Why did Kuroo _always_ make him blush? 

“You should blush more often,” Akaashi tells him, and then he grabs Kuroo’s hand and drags him out of the store. Tsukki watches them leave, speaking in the parking lot as Kuroo wraps an arm around Akaashi. He had to _think_. His world felt like it was growing bigger, and something about that made his skin crawl. He had been so comfortable with his kind of sad existence, but now he wanted more. What was that gonna mean?

“Tsukishima! You have another client scheduled for-” Suga was working the desk for the moment. Yachi must've been on break or something. He was one of the managers at Karasuno Spa, also known as staff mom, along with Daichi who was the head manager. “You alright?” 

“Yeah, of course-” Tsukki starts to say. He clears his throat and tries to change his demeanor. He wasn't very good at faking though, and Suga had a lie detector for a brain.

“I’ll schedule Yamaguchi for that slot, and you can take his later one.” Suga begins clicking away at his computer without waiting for an answer. Tsukki is about to complain, but Suga waves him off. “Go rest in the employee lounge, or I’m getting Daichi out to scold you.” Tsukki didn’t have the energy to put up with that, so he left mumbling under his breath about how ridiculous this was. In all honesty, he wouldn’t be able to work anywhere else. When he started his job at Karasuno Spa, he was at his worst. He barely spoke to anyone, responding to any sort of closeness with tight-lipped anger. 

They didn’t give up on him though, and Kei was grateful (even if he’d rather die than admit that). Tsukki went to collapse on the break room couch. “Take your glasses off, stupid.” One of their esthetician’s teases. Hinata was loud, energetic, and way too fucking short for any human being to comprehend. His hair even gave Kei a headache. “You’re gonna break them and then you won’t be able to see. And then I’ll beat you at volleyball!” Every weekend him and his coworkers played pick-up volleyball games at one of the local parks. Pure coincidence happened to put a ton of high school volleyball players in the same space. 

“Shut up,” Tsukki grumbles. “Don’t you have someone’s skin to mess up?”

“I don’t mess up anyone’s skin, loser!” Hinata scowls at him. Tsukki does take off his glasses. “Right Kageyama?” 

“If I say yes, will you stop talking?” Kageyama slaps the back of Hinata’s head. Kageyama was one of their better estheticians, and he and Hinata always competed for who had more clients. It was annoying as hell. “Leave him alone; he’s obviously grumpy. Probably came in here to nap so he didn’t have to look at your ugly face.”

“Kage _yama_ -” Hinata shouts but he looks at Tsukki who has closed his eyes and put his headphones on. They continue their conversation in hushed tones, letting Tsukki curl up on the sofa and fall into a light sleep.

\---

He wakes up to Yamaguchi shaking him, and for a second he panics. Where was he? He was so disoriented, that he surged up, knocking his head into Tadashi’s nose. “Ow! Oh, sorry Tsukki! I forgot you wake up confused.” Yamaguchi rubs at his nose and shoots Tsukki an apologetic look. “I have important news.”

“You...give me a second,” Tsukki breathes, clutching at his chest trying to slow his heartbeat. Yamaguchi sits back, biting the inside of his lip and looking unsure. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault I wake up like a freak.”

“You don’t...gah! I’m sorry Kei!” Yamaguchi tells him, pouting. “My news feels dumb now.”

“Tell me.” Tsukki pushes, running a shaky hand through his hair. Calm down, he told himself. You’re fine. 

“Ok, so you know the client I picked up for you?” Yamaguchi grins shyly, fidgeting with his fingers. Tsukki nods and rubs his eyes. It was good he had a nap - he felt a lot better now. “Well it turns out he was really super hot, so I clocked out early and he sucked my dick-”

“Wha-Yamaguchi!” Tsukki hisses, face turning red. “What the fuck?!” 

“I never take breaks! Suga said it was fine!” Yamaguchi snickers at his reaction, eyes brimming with mischief. “Plus, get this! He lives in the same apartment as Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kuroo! They’re all roommates!” 

“Goody,” Tsukki deadpans. “Why should I care where your…your...”

“Fuck buddy” Yamaguchi supplies for him. He thinks this is sooo funny, watching as Tsukishima sputters out these words like he’s a fucking virgin (which he sort of is? It's been so long he feels like he is. Besides the point). 

“God damn it. I’m not calling him that.” Tsukki groans into his hands. “Does he have a name?”

“Terushima!” Yamaguchi grins, pulling Kei so that he’s sitting up on the couch. Reorienting himself, Kei checks the clock. He had slept for two hours. 

“You gave someone a full body massage and got your dick sucked in two hours?” Kei says weakly, and Yamaguchi looks awfully proud of himself. “Why should I care where Terushima lives?”

“Well for one, it’s close by and that means your best friend in the entire world will get great blow jobs more often.” Tsukki wants to shrivel up and die. “But also, we can find out more about the three guys you like!”

“What-I don’t like them-!” 

“Puh-lease Tsukki! You look at them like you’re a smitten schoolgirl!” Suga calls for Tsukki from the main room, signaling that he has another appointment today. “We aren’t done talking about this!”

\---

Tsukki practically ran home after work, avoiding talking to Yamaguchi like the plague. No, he did not want to discuss his feelings. They were weird! And scary! He didn’t like _anyone_ , much less three strangers he met randomly at his job! 

Tsukki sat down on his couch and sighed comfortably. This whole thing was over now. Those idiots probably wouldn’t come back, especially because Tsukki acted all weird today when they were leaving. He pulled out his laptop and checked on his notifications. When he looked at his skype, he noticed he had 300 messages from three new contacts. 

Oh god. 

Oh no. 

Bokuto Koutarou: hey hey hey Tsukki!

Bokuto Koutarou: Yamaguchi gave us your skype bc we were suuuper worried we made you uncomfy these last two days!

Bokuto Koutarou: You’re really cute tho ;)

Akaashi Keiji: I am very sorry, in advance, for the amount of messages you are about to inevitably receive

Akaashi Keiji: They do mean well, I promise 

Kuroo Tetsurou: Did it hurt?

Kuroo Tetsurou: when you fell from heaven bb 

Kuroo Tetsurou: haha jk jk I got moves don’t you worry bout a thing Blondie, it only gets better from here 

Tsukki was going to murder Yamaguchi, and then murder dick-sucking guy just for good measure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tsukki is still confused! who is dating who? does he have a crush? stay tuned 
> 
> and GET it yamaguchi! lol. i love Yamaguchi and he is a little shit so here we go! also i stan yamateru anyways
> 
> leave comments and kudos! i love them very much


	3. Chapter 3

“You gave them _my skype_?” Tsukki hissed into the phone. Yamaguchi was snickering, and he heard someone’s voice in the background. “Are you with that guy again?” 

“Wanna say hi?” Yamaguchi says excitedly. Tsukki pauses - Yamaguchi worked really hard, having a part-time job at the spa and taking classes full-time to get into med school. Tsukki hadn’t heard him this excited over anything in a long time. 

“Whatever,” Tsukki grumbles. “Give him the phone.”

“Ok! But don’t threaten him please!” Yamaguchi agrees, and Tsukki hears a scuffling noise and muffled laughter.

“Hello?” The other line’s voice is deep and light-hearted. 

“Listen up, dick-sucker…” Tsukki starts, voice dangerously low. 

“My name is Terushima-”

“Whatever. Stop getting involved with my life. And tell Yamaguchi to _drop this_ ,” Tsukki hisses. “And if you hurt his feelings I’ll kick your ass.” 

“What?” Tsukki hangs up before he has to answer. He sighs, running a hand through his hair and groaning. He needed to sleep. He needed to forget about all the shit that was going on in his life, but he knew that wasn’t an option. His brain constantly ran over the things going on in his head over and over until he freaked out like a little kid. Tsukki ordered take-out and sat on his couch to watch T.V. until he fell asleep, just like always.

\---

Tsukishima had gotten a full week of no new formations of Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kuroo. His skype had also been blissfully silent, not that he had been checking or anything like that. But he was curious! They had left him alone for the time being, though. 

His peace is broken when he’s walking a female client out of her session. She’s making small talk about her massage, complimenting Tsukki’s work on her shoulders and assuring him she’ll be back. He’s absorbed by the conversation, forcing himself to be social was so difficult for him so he couldn’t split his time. He waves her off and leans against the desk. “Do I have a break Yachi?” he asks, not realizing she is in the middle of a conversation with someone from the finances office. “Yachi?” 

“Oh!” She’s bright red, and when she turns around, Tsukki sees a pretty girl with long black hair. “I’ll check for you!” Tsukki waves her off and looks at his name on the schedule, letting Yachi get back to her conversation. 

“Another couple's massage?” Tsukki muses, this was getting ridiculous at this point. Normally, he dealt with one a month. Three in a week and a half was unheard of. “Who’s it under-”

“You could be under me if you wanted, Tsukki!” That voice. Tsukki audibly groaned, banging his head against the desk. 

“And here I thought you would leave me alone.” He deadpans, giving the two in front of him a killer look. “But here you are, in the spa I work at. Requesting me again.”

“We just couldn’t resist, Tsukki!” Bokuto’s cheery voice carries into the room and Yachi smiles at them pleasantly. “Plus, Akaashi and Kuroo got to have you all to themselves and I haven’t! It’s not fair!” Akaashi is next to him, and he rolls his eyes. He shoots Kei an unimpressed look and gently pushes forward. 

“Sorry for the hassle. I told them you seemed uninterested, but they were very insistent. I figured if I was here, he would behave better.” Akaashi tells him, and Tsukki nods gratefully. In another timeline, Tsukki is sure he and Akaashi would get along super well. He knew his friendship wasn’t worth it though. He was a burden, and even if maybe he _did_ want to hang out with them (which he didn’t!), he couldn’t put them through that. They seemed nice and relaxed. They had a good thing going. Tsukki wasn’t going to mess with it. 

“He is not uninterested!” Yamaguchi speaks up from behind him. He leans against Tsukki’s shoulder. “He’s just shy! Right, Kei?”

“For the sake of my employment here, yes, of course.” Tsukki takes a second to curse himself for every life choice that has led him to this moment. “You already know how to get to the room.”

\---

Bokuto, if possible, was more obnoxious than Kuroo was. He was loud and complimentary in a way that had Tsukki’s cheeks burning and his thoughts incomprehensible. As a rule, Tsukishima did not take compliments seriously. He had come to a realization that he just wasn’t good, and so he never believed it when someone thought of him differently. 

“Tsukki, you’re so _talented_!” Bokuto would say. “How are you so good at this?” Tsukki could not handle it. As a general rule, you’re not supposed to have your hands leave a client as a masseuse. Kei almost lost it three separate times - Yamaguchi loved that of course. He had this way of teasing Tsukki in a loving way; normally, Tsukki would shut off at that type of contact but with Yamaguchi, he didn’t mind. “Wow!” Bokuto said when they were finished. “They were right! You’re so awesome at your job, and you’re hot!”

“Um-” Tsukki chokes out. 

“Alright alright. If you keep complimenting him, he’ll explode.” Yamaguchi laughs, pushing Kei forwards past the door of the massage room. Akaashi gave him a long look after that, and Tsukki felt _naked_. Like he could see through his soul into his heart. 

“I can lead you to the desk-” Tsukki clears his throat, biting the inside of his lip and staring intensely at the floor. 

“You are,” Akaashi tells him, matter of factly. “Hot. Beautiful even.” Tsukki flushes again, holding in the desire to say ‘no, you just don’t know me’ or something along those lines. “If you really want us to stop coming, we will. Just let me know over skype. You have my word.” Akaashi pauses for a long second. Tsukki can tell that Akaashi is being honest, and that terrifies him.

Tsukishima watches him exit and stays behind to clean up after them. What did he want? It was a funny question to ask himself. “Wait!” Tsukki calls. “Who’s dating who? Are you and Bokuto or-?” Akaashi stops mid-step and lets out a laugh. It’s light, and airy, and pretty and god, Tsukki is _fucked_. 

“Guess you’ll have to find out,” He teases. 

\---

“This isn’t funny, Tadashi!” Tsukki is lying on Yamaguchi’s couch, coming over immediately after work in a flurry of gay panic. “First, these two hot strangers come in as a couple! Then they’re flirting the whole time, which is fine. I can handle that. Now there’s three of them? They’re all attractive - they’re all nice...I can’t tell what’s going on! Which one is dating which!? How am I supposed to...to _like_ them if I can’t even tell who’s single!?’

“First,” Tadashi starts, cooking dinner with Terushima hanging off his shoulder like a puppy. “I just want the record to show that Tsukki thinks they’re all hot.”

“Record shown, babe,” Terushima tells him. They were so gross together. Tsukki grimaces. 

“Next, why don’t you like...ask them? Akaashi isn’t gonna let them come back until you give them the go-ahead. If you’re too anxious either me or Teru can do it for you!” Yamaguchi smiles at him, but Tsukki knows that is mischief in his eyes. 

“Absolutely not. I’ll...I’ll talk to them,” Tsukki promises. “I will! I just...listen. This is a dumb crush. I’ll get over it.”

“I have no doubt you could get over it if you wanted to,” Yamaguchi agrees. “But why would you? You like them...they seem to like you! At least make a friend out of it! You haven’t done this well with strangers since they hired Yachi!” Tadashi gives him a pointed look. “Just think about it, ok?” 

So Tsukki thinks about it. And he thinks about it. And he doesn’t stop thinking about it until it is three days later when the mere mention of the three of them sends him into a flurry of panic. Every scenario he has come up within his head ends in them _hating_ him. Either he agrees to hang out with them, they find out he’s a freak, they hate him. He doesn’t agree, they come anyways, they find out he’s a freak, they hate him. He creates a billion situations and all of them suck. Tsukki jumps when he gets a stupid skype notification, even if it’s not from them - the anticipation of the contact is killing him. He hated this - he needed it to stop. 

“Um...Kei?” Tadashi starts gently. Tsukishima could tell that Yamaguchi was over trying to get him to talk to them. A small part of him wondered if Yamaguchi was finally annoyed with his stupid anxiety brain and was going to leave him because of this. “Listen...Kuroo is in the waiting room. I know you’ve been really worked up over it, and I’m super sorry I played into it. I must have pushed you way too hard, and I can tell him to go away. I know you’ve been anxious for the past few days so…” Yamaguchi trails off. 

“It’s not your fault,” Tsukki responds immediately. “I’ll talk to him. I’m sorry I-” What can he even say? I’m sorry I’m like this. I’m sorry I can’t even have one conversation. I’m sorry I mess everything up. “I’ll talk to him.” Yamaguchi nods at him, but he looks concerned. “Stop worrying. Blow Job Boy will get mad if I give you wrinkles.” Tadashi laughs but it’s a little hollow. Tsukki makes his way out of the break room, taking a deep breath before squaring his shoulders and marching to the front office. “Listen, I thought you said-”

“Tsukki!” Kuroo calls out to him, delighted to see him. What an unexpected turn of events. “I was so worried! When Akaashi said you never reached out...well ok, I expected that. We thought you were gonna reject us, which would have been ok, but then you never answered. I was nervous something might have happened to you? I don’t really know, I can go-”

“Wait,” Tsukki bites his lip. Fuck. Ok, fuck he could do this. “I’m sorry for ignoring you. I um…” How was he supposed to… “I was nervous. I wouldn’t mind. If we um...kept in contact. It’s just hard for me to-”

“Really?!” Kuroo is excited. It’s cute as hell, and Tsukki is smitten. “We should hang out outside of your work, not that I mind your hands all over me.”

“I’m not good at-” Tsukki starts to try and explain that he’s not good at other people. They needed to know before they got into it. It was only fair.

“We can go bowling! Or go out to eat. Akaashi can plan it with you, he’s good at that stuff.” Kuroo is already heading out the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow for our one on one Blondie.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello friends. Sorry if people are OOC. this is crack tbh but i am enjoying writing anxious tsukki and i love the ot4 dynamic! leave comments and kudos, they give me serotonin <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone! idk about you but my heart is simply shattered at the fact that haikyuu is over. also i know this is not time skip canon compliant but this is my life so here we go
> 
> tw: panic attack, this is how i experience panic attacks! if it's not accurate to you, i'm sorry!

“You _agreed_ to it?” Yamaguchi cheers in the breakroom, falling all over himself to move closer to him. “Do you have a fever? Are you sick?” Yamaguchi presses his hand to Tsukki’s forehead and he shoves it away. “I’m so proud of you, Tsukki! What’re you gonna do? What’re you gonna wear? Maybe Teru can do your eyeliner-”

“Yamaguchi,” Tsukki hisses, “Relax. It’s not a big deal.” Yamaguchi is still beaming, but he’s moved away. 

“What’s going on in here?” Suga asks, peaking in. Their head hairstylist is with him, dragging along his boyfriend. “Someone got a date?” 

“No” Tsukki says, as Yamaguchi nods aggressively. Asahi smiles at him knowingly as his boyfriend (who is almost as loud as Hinata) grins wickedly. 

“Wow! Tsukishima is all grown up!” Noya laughs, volume raising as Tsukki scowls. 

“It’s not a _date_ ,” Tsukki continues, crossing his arms and glaring at the floor. 

“Asahi should do your hair! I’ll make Daichi give you the day off,” Suga claps his hands together. “Where is it? Is it with one of those clients?” 

“Everyone, shut up,” Tsukki growls. They all turn to look at him. “One: it’s not a date. Two: we don’t have a location. Three: it’s with _none of your business_ so leave me alone.”

“Stop being grumpy! It’s with all three of those clients!” Yamaguchi holds on to Suga’s arm, and the two of them practically squeal. “Can’t believe Tsukki is gonna have a foursome before me.”

“ _Get it,_ Tsukishima!” Noya cheers. “Asahi, can we have a foursome?” Asahi chokes on the water he’s sipping from.

\---

When Tsukki is on his break, he pulls out his phone and checks his skype. 

  
Bokuto Koutarou: hey hey hey Tsukki!!!!!!!!!! :) 

Bokuto Koutarou: Akaashi says I gotta ask you what days work best for you

Bokuto Koutarou: He’s at work

Tsukishima Kei: What does he do?

Bokuto Koutarou: Akaashi works in advertising and writes on the side 

Bokuto Koutarou: super cool right??????

Tsukishima Kei: That is definitely impressive 

Bokuto Koutarou: Yeah!!! He’s the coolest 

Bokuto Koutarou: I’m a personal trainer :D and Kuroo works in business 

Bokuto Koutarou: I also play volleyball!

Tsukki snorted at that. Of course he did. It seemed everyone in his life was destined to. 

Tsukishima Kei: I played too

Bokuto Koutarou: WHAT :0

Bokuto Koutarou: NO WAY SERIOUSLY 

Bokuto Koutarou: WHAT POSITION ?!?!?!?!?!?

Bokuto Koutarou: TSUKKIIIIII

Tsukishima laughed again, covering his mouth when Kageyama shoots him a look. 

Tsukishima Kei: I was a middle blocker

Bokuto Koutarou: WOW

Bokuto Koutarou: I am a wing spiker!!!!!! Akaashi was a setter and Kuroo was a middle blocker too 

Bokuto Koutarou: Sometimes I make them play with me!!!!!!!!!!!! Will you play with me?????

Tsukishima Kei: I’m surprised your exclamation point key still works 

“Tsukki!” Yachi calls for him. “Appointment’s here!” Tsukki sighs, disappointed to stop talking to Bokuto. Yeah, he was loud and kind of obnoxious. He was also funny and undeniably sweet. Endearing. 

Tsukishima Kei: I have to go back to work

Tsukishima Kei: I’m free on Thursdays and Fridays

Tsukki stretches, making his way towards the front desk. “Hey, cutie. Long time, no see.” Kuroo leans against a wall dramatically, and Tsukki hides a laugh behind his hand. Kuroo’s smile is blinding, and Tsukki tries to maintain his scowl but fails. “Get you all to myself today. Bokuto and Akaashi are gonna be jealous.” 

“I can’t tell if you all have a harem or not,” Tsukki mutters and Kuroo’s laugh is ugly and loud in the best of ways. Tsukki starts to snicker again, going to hide behind a hand and Kuroo grabs his wrist before he can.

“Why would you ever hide something as beautiful as that?” Kuroo says, and Tsukishima’s face turns hot within seconds. Rude, how _rude_. How was he so smooth? “Did Akaashi talk to you yet about plans?”   
  
“No,” Tsukki answers, forcing himself to calm down. Yachi gives him a knowing look. “You have to get changed into-”

“Aw...you don’t wanna stay?” Kuroo wiggles his eyebrows at him as Tsukki slams the door shut, ignoring Kuroo’s laugh yet again. “I’m down for a happy ending, Tsukki!” 

“Don’t call me that!” Tsukki hisses in response. “No one ever makes those jokes. You’re so creative and original.” He deadpans, staring at his fingernails uninterestedly. 

“C’mon! You were so cute when you were all blushing and shy!” Tsukki rolls his eyes, listening to Kuroo’s muffled whining through the door. “I’m ready for you, baby.”

\---

They talk throughout the session. He had never had a one on one with the three idiots who thrust themselves into his life, but he found that he actually really enjoyed it. Kuroo was a lot calmer without other people around, but he was still quick to make a joke and witty. Tsukki was smart, he knew that. He found that Kuroo was just as smart as he was, shooting back comments as quick as Tsukki could chirp him; he was normally not super comfortable talking during massages. He felt awkward, and he preferred to work in quiet. Kuroo was not having it though. 

“Do you ever feel weird, touching so many strangers?” Kuroo asks him. Tsukki shrugs, digging the heel of his palm into a tighter spot. 

“Not really. Doesn’t really feel like I’m doing it.” Tsukki answers. “I’m not a touchy person though, so don’t think this applies to outside of work.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Kuroo grins, Tsukki can’t see, but he can tell. “It’s just funny. You seem so…”

“Angry?” Tsukki had been called that millions of times before. 

“Nah, that’s definitely what you’d like people to think though,” Kuroo hums thoughtfully, and Tsukki is taken aback by how he knew that already. “Closed off? I guess. You seem closed off and I would expect relaxing so many people takes vulnerability.” 

“Are you some kind of psychologist?” Tsukki grunts, finishing up and keeping in his panic. _Oh god, how does he know that? Why does he know that? Are they gonna stop talking because of it?_

“No,” Kuroo admits. “I just...well, we just like you a lot.” 

\---

Tsukki gets back to his apartment and breaks down. _They hate me, they hate me, theyhateme, they-_ When he has panic attacks, they’re not loud and aggressive. He’s normally silent, clinging on too tightly to his knees and scratching into his thighs. Sometimes, tears leak out of his eyes. Sometimes not. He feels like he’s dying. His world is crashing in. He’s unable to comprehend what’s happening to him or around him. And he always has them alone because he told everyone in his life that he preferred it like that. 

He hated it though. He hated being alone like this. He hated being like this at all. His phone starts buzzing, and out of habit, he answers it. The only people who call him are Akiteru and Yamaguchi, one of which he _needed_ right now. It was probably Yamaguchi though. They were gonna hang out tonight alone. It had been too long, and Tsukki canceled on him without much explanation. “Tadashi, can you come over?” He says quietly. “I know I told you we couldn’t hang out but it feels like I’m dying and I need someone-”

“This isn’t Tadashi, but I would be happy to come over if you need someone-” Tsukki hangs up and checks the call log. It was a skype call. From Akaashi Keiji. Oh god. Oh fuck. This could not be worse. The phone rings again and Tsukki throws it across the room. His hands were shaking excessively. He probably wouldn’t be able to stand up if he wanted to, but he heard his phone continue to ring. He begged it to stop internally, pulling at his hair. His arms were already bleeding from clawing at them too hard. He doesn’t know how long he sits on the floor in his apartment, shaking and taking in shallow breaths. 

Tsukishima raises his head when he hears a knock at his door, curling harder in on himself. “Tsukki, it’s me! Akaashi called me and said you sounded bad.” Tsukki takes in another shaky breath. “Can you give me a color?” When he and Yamaguchi met, Tsukki was at his worst. They developed a color system for both of them. Yamaguchi had really terrible depression, and when his days were bad he needed Tsukki to come get him out of bed and get him his meds. When Tsukki’s anxiety was bad, he needed Yamaguchi to just be there - to help him calm down and make him drink water and eat. 

“R-red,” Tsukki chokes out. They had a color system, so they had the least amount of talking possible. 

“Alright. I’m gonna come in. I brought your spare key with me.” Yamaguchi tells him gently. The door jostles open and Yamaguchi walks in. He definitely just got out of the shower - his hair is still wet. He leans down next to Tsukki carefully, analyzing the situation. “Can you take your hands off your legs for me? I’ll get you a pillow to grab onto.” Tsukki relents, squeezing onto the pillow he’s been handed gratefully. 

“Th’nks,” He murmurs. 

“Of course.” Yamaguchi gives him a smile. “You should tell me next time, okay? I’m not mad or anything. I just want to help you.” 

“I know,” Tsukki answers softly. His voice is still shaking. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize.” Yamaguchi scolds him. “You should call Akaashi eventually though. He was really worried about you. He would probably come over here himself if he knew where you lived.”

“You...you didn’t tell him?” Tsukki asked weakly. 

“No, of course not.” Yamaguchi frowns. “Can I touch you?” Tsukki nods and Yamaguchi pulls him into a hug. “I know you’re scared of what’s happening. They seem to really like you though. They seem to care about you a lot. I think trying to be friends with them would be really good for you.” Yamaguchi rubs circles into his back gently. “You don’t have to...but…”

“I want to,” Tsukki says quickly. “I just...I’m like _this_.”

“You’re also kind and caring, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi grins, eyes twinkling. “Even if you’d rather die than admit that. As much as I’d love to keep you to myself forever, you deserve more people who love you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! lmk what you think in the comments or leave kudos if you so wish <3 also lmk how you feel after the last chapter lol


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooo everyone! next chapter here! i'm excited that people seem to be enjoying it. again, i know tsukki is ooc, sorry about that! this chapter is a tad chaotic. i tried to lighten the mood from the last one!

Tsukishima spent the rest of the night on the couch with Yamaguchi, who ordered them takeout and put on a documentary about sharks. Tsukki had already seen this one, but the familiarity of the pictures was comforting to him. He was still coming down, body shaking from the adrenaline of feeling like his life was ending. Yamaguchi picked at his food absentmindedly, sitting close enough on the couch for Tsukki to be comforted but not close enough to touch. “I think you should talk to them,” Yamaguchi says, mouth filled with Pad Thai. “You don’t have to tell them everything, but they can take it.” 

“It’ll freak them out,” Tsukki mutters in response, fiddling his thumbs. “Pay attention to the sharks, Yamaguchi.”

“Can I invite Teru over?” Yamaguchi ignores him, texting rapidly. “If you’re not ready for more people, that’s fine too. But after you canceled, I was supposed to hang out with him and he wants to get to know you better.” Tsukki hums in response, unamused with the question. He felt guilty, though. And he rarely said no to Yamaguchi anyways. “Great! Thanks, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi goes back to his phone. 

“Can you tell Akaashi I’m ok?” Tsukki asks, hoping to come off as uninterested. It doesn’t work. He sounds like a little kid. 

“No, but you can tell him that,” Yamaguchi grins, stretching next to him and padding over to the kitchen. “I’m gonna make some tea. Want any?” Tsukki scowls, crossing his arms. “I’ll make your favorite!” Yamaguchi ignores his slight tantrum. “Just text him if you can’t call.” He pulls out his phone and opens skype. 

Tsukishima Kei: Sorry about that.

Tsukishima Kei: I’m alright. Thank you for your concern.

Tsukki shuddered out a long breath, biting his lip. His phone had a new crack on it from when he threw it across the room. His phone vibrates, and Tsukki winces as he notices the call. “Yamaguchi, he’s calling me!” Tsukki hisses. 

“So pick it up? Teru’s here!” He bounds over to the door, opening it up and capturing his boyfriend into a hug. 

“Hey, hot stuff,” Tsukki hears Terushima murmur. “Missed me?” Tsukki groans, putting his head in his hands. Now their romance was following him to his own house?! Tsukki really liked Akaashi. He was also terrified of him. Akaashi was thoughtful and way too perceptive for Tsukki’s liking. He read Tsukki like a book, and that was unacceptable. If he picked up the phone- “Tsukishima? Your phone is ringing?” Terushima tells him. Tsukki glares at him. 

“I  _ know _ that idiot,” Tsukki growls. “What are you, my mother-”

“Stop taking out your fear of confrontation on my boyfriend and pick up the phone, Kei,” Yamaguchi’s voice is cheerful, but Tsukki gulps. How did he always  _ know _ what Tsukki was doing? Also, since when were they actually dating?

“Hello,” Tsukki answered weakly. He had his video turned off, but Akaashi’s was on. It was terrible and amazing at the same time. Terrible, because looking at people was terrifying and amazing because  _ god damn, Akaashi was so beautiful _ . “Sorry for the inconvenience. I’m fine now. No need to call.”

“Tsukki! Turn on your camera! We wanna see you!” Someone grabs the phone from Akaashi, and Tsukki looks at Yamaguchi horrified. 

“No,” He says back instantly, voice monotone. 

“Why?! C’mon!” Bokuto shakily comes into view, other hands grabbing at the camera from behind. “Stop  _ grabbing _ Kuroo!” 

“I want to see! He likes me best!” Kuroo shouts back. 

“There’s nothing to see,” Tsukki rolls his eyes, but he is smiling. “Besides, I like Akaashi the best.”

“HAH!” Bokuto sticks his tongue out. “Wait...hey! Tsukki! You like us all equally right? Tsukki?” 

Akaashi finally gets his phone back - he looks annoyed, eyes narrowed and frustration evident. “Sorry about that. You seem better now, although if I could see you, I would be able to tell better.” Tsukki hums at that, ignoring the way Terushima and Yamaguchi make kissy faces at him. “I’m glad you’re alright. If I knew where you lived, I would’ve checked on you myself. I was really worried.”

“Sorry about that,” Tsukki mumbles, wiping off his glasses in his lap. He wound up back on the couch while Terushima and Yamaguchi were gross in his kitchen. “I won’t call you like that again.” 

“That’s not what I meant,” Akaashi says quickly, voice soft. “I want you to call me if you need anything. I talk down Bokuto from similar attacks every once in a while.” Tsukki’s eyes widen and he pauses in his ministrations. Similar attacks? “Don’t think so little of us that this would scare us away. Get to know us. I promise it’ll be worth your time.” Tsukki is silent, face heated up. He doesn’t even know what to say, his mouth keeps forming words, but no sound is coming out. 

“Whatever you said turned him super red!” Terushima shouts from the kitchen. 

“Shut  _ up _ ! Why are you still in my house?!” Tsukki snaps at him. 

“Wait! Is he blushing? It’s cute when he blushes! Kaashi!” Bokuto whines, he’s leaning over Akaashi’s shoulder. 

“I still can’t see him, Bokuto,” Akaashi answers back. “Bokuto said you have off Thursdays and Fridays?” 

“Yeah,” Tsukki stutters back. He’s still flustered, but he clears his throat. “But you still haven’t told me what your relationship is. I’d like to know before-”

“Does 8 on Friday night work for you, Tsukishima?” Akaashi interrupts him, ignoring Tsukki’s comment blatantly. Tsukki grunts an affirmative, glaring at the phone in front of him as if they could tell. “Perfect. We’ll get dinner. There’s an Italian place that we frequent.” 

“Tsukki! Do you like Italian food? Does he like pizza? Akaashi, ask him if he likes pizza!” Bokuto exclaims from the side somewhere. 

“I...ok?” Tsukki agrees. “But-”

“Perfect, we’ll see you there. I’ll send you the location,” Akaashi dodges more hands. “Goodbye Tsukishima. I’m glad to see you’re doing better.” And then he hangs up. Tsukki stares at his phone, mouth slack for a full minute. 

“What just happened.” He asked no one in particular. 

“Pretty sure you just got bullied into a dinner date,” Terushima supplies, handing Tsukki a mug filled with peppermint tea. “Yamaguchi said you were brutal sometimes, but I’m pretty sure you’re soft after that display.” Tsukki really wants to rip Terushima’s tongue piercing out of his face and stab him with it. Picturing that calms him down a bit, so he manages not to give him a biting remark. 

“He’s a huge softy,” Yamaguchi agrees. “The only time we ever got drunk together-”

“Stop, Tadashi!” Tsukki moves to cover his best friend’s mouth. 

“No, no. I am intrigued,” Terushima grins, leaning forward onto his hands. 

“He cried about how there are no more dinosaurs left,” Yamaguchi continues, pushing Tsukki away. “Then, he asked me if I thought they had their own section of the afterlife where they could live together happily without any meteorites.” Terushima snorted, covering the sound quickly when Tsukki spins around to start  _ beating  _ him. 

“Shut up!” Tsukki hisses. 

“Is that true?” He hears from his phone. His whole face turns pale, and he checks his screen to see that he has accidentally butt-dialed Akaashi and called him back and  _ all three of them were staring at the phone oh god, oh no. _

“Yamaguchi, I am going to murder you,” Tsukki shrieks. “Get over here!” Tadashi is laughing so hard, he has tears in his eyes, as Tsukki chases him across his living room. 

“That’s the cutest thing I have ever heard in my life,” Bokuto says over the phone. “I can die happy.”

“Will you go to Dinosaur Heaven, Koutarou?” Kuroo wheezes, busy laughing along with his traitorous friend. 

“It’s not funny! They all died a tragic death!” Tsukki shrieks back, face beet red he wondered if the rest of his body had circulation. “I hate everyone in this room, including those on the phone.”

“That’s not true,” Yamaguchi teases him. “I’m turning the camera on.”

“Yamaguchi,  _ do not _ -” Tsukki doesn’t know when Yamaguchi got to the couch. He’s losing control of his life. Normally, he’d be breaking down right now. He’d start crying, or panicking. He’d shut down. Somehow, he was ok though. The teasing felt safe? It was a bizarre feeling. 

“Aw! Do you have dinosaur pajamas too?” Kuroo teases. “You should wear those on Friday!” 

“This is the worst day of my life,” Tsukki groans, giving up and putting his head in his hands. Yamaguchi throws his phone at him with a light giggle, and Tsukki moves to his room, ignoring Terushima and Yamaguchi’s chasing laughter. “Well, I never want to face you again.” He says to them. 

“You’re stuck with us now!” Bokuto cheers, face taking up a majority of the screen. “Hey, Tsukki! Who has better muscles, me, or Kuroo?” 

“Don’t ask him that,” Akaashi scolds lightly. “It’s not appropriate.” 

“You have more muscle but Kuroo’s are leaner,” Tsukki answers. “But Akaashi has the best skin.”

“Ok! Now, who do you think has the biggest-” Bokuto is about to ask. 

“Alright, Bo! Say goodbye to Tsukki! Let him get back to his friends!” Kuroo interrupts. Bokuto pouts (it’s cute) but hands the phone back to Kuroo reluctantly. 

“Goodnight,” Akaashi calls.

“G’night!” Bokuto quickly scurries away. “Kaashi! Can I be the little spoon?” He hears Bokuto ask from a distance. 

“See you Friday, Blondie. Sweet dreams,” The camera focuses on Kuroo’s crazy grin and goes dark. 

Tsukki leaves his phone to charge in his room and opens the door to see Terushima and Yamaguchi making out on his couch. “Get out of my  _ house _ !” Tsukki shrieks, slamming the door back shut and taking a deep breath. 

“Sorry, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi shouts from the living room. He doesn’t sound very sorry though. “You’re ok for me to head out?”

“Yes! I’m fine! Go home!” Tsukki responds. He was gonna sleep forever when he finally got into his bed. Tomorrow was Thursday, which meant he didn’t have to get up for work. He would have time to do all the things he needed to do for the week before he went out on Friday. 

He was going to hang out with someone other than Yamaguchi. The idea itself gave him a flurry of emotions: panic, fear, excitement. He was fascinated by the three people he had met, even more so than panicked about what they could do to him. His brain still played the scenarios over and over in his head - he hadn’t quite deemed them safe. They were growing on him though, and he was letting them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, leave a comment and a kudos if you enjoyed! they give me seratonin <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooo all, time to get a look into tsukki's mysterious past and watch him freak out about his upcoming date! don't worry, he has plenty of help :)
> 
> including some terushima meme time because i will carry yamateru on my back until i die

Thursday was relaxing as ever. Tsukki caught up on the news, listened to music, cooked his favorite meal, and  _ freaked the fuck out about tomorrow _ . By late night, all his excitement had faded into pure fear. He felt like his life was ending. He was so afraid that he was going to mess up and lose all the progress he had made with his new friends (is that what they were?) that he drafted an ‘I can’t make it, I’m sick’ text four separate times. Unfortunately, Yamaguchi told him if he bailed, him and Terushima were gonna fuck on his couch. It was incentive enough for Tsukki to maintain his plans. Tsukki was practically shaking when he texted Yamaguchi that his life was over. 

Tadashi Yamaguchi: it’ll be fiiiine tsukki <3

Tadashi Yamaguchi: if they’re mean to you, we can send a threatening skype message and call it a night 

Kei Tsukishima: you’re still dead to me

Tadashi Yamaguchi: for the dinosaur thing?

Kei Tsukishima: why the fuck else would you be dead to me 

Kei Tsukishima: did you do something I don’t know about.

Tadashi Yamaguchi: no! Pinky promise!!!! 

Tadashi Yamaguchi: it’ll go great! They’re all hot and nice! And if it gets really bad, just send me a color and I’ll pick you up! 

Kei Tsukishima: alright fine

Tadashi Yamaguchi: I gotta go! Teru has me tied up for the rest of the night if you know what i mean ;)

Kei Tsukishima: I’m going to choose to ignore that.

Tsukki groaned into his hands. “I’m so stupid,” he tells himself, flickering through the channels. “I am so stupid. I agreed to go to dinner with these people, and I barely know them. They’re going to kill me and leave me body in a ditch.” He settled on another nature documentary, this time about the Grand Canyon. He needed to get some sleep, or he was going to be cranky and nervous tomorrow. A dangerous combination for him. He took a deep shaky breath, in and out. It had been years since he had been alone with anyone besides Yamaguchi. His last date (was this a date?) had ended with a legendary panic attack that had almost sent him to the hospital. He didn’t remember much, but he knew Yamaguchi was screaming at the guy who had taken him out. He remembered there had been unwilling physical contact, and he had called Yamaguchi in the bathroom crying. 

Yamaguchi instantly dropped what he was doing, grabbed him from the bathroom, yelled at his date, and then kicked him really hard in the balls for good measure. When Kei had mentioned it to his therapist after the fact and that he hadn’t really wanted to date ever again, that the thought of being with other people besides Yamaguchi in private made him want to hide in his house for the rest of his adult life, she had gently nudged a new diagnosis at him. 

He had always had anxiety, and it had always been severe. When he was growing up, he clung to his older brother Akiteru for comfort. When Kei left for college, Akiteru wasn’t there and Kei retreated into himself. His brain called him worthless, stupid, unworthy. The thoughts swirled so heavily around his head that it was all he could think about. He was failing classes, not because he couldn’t handle the material (quite the opposite actually) because he couldn’t leave for class. Every time he tried, he would get so anxious he would throw up. Or he would fall into hysterics in the hallway outside his apartment. He imagined all the god awful things that had happened to him, imagined them happening again in his classes. He imagined his professors being so angry at him, they’d kill him. He imagined getting jumped outside his classes. His hands wrung themselves until they hurt. He scratched at his skin to calm down, but it just made him bleed. His body had scars all over from his panic attacks, lining the inside of his thighs and his stomach. One time, he got food poisoning and didn’t eat for four days. When he passed out, his parents made him drop out and come home. 

Therapists told him all sorts of things: you have OCD, you have depression and anxiety, you have bipolar. None of the meds worked. He sat in his house and did nothing. He barely ate or slept or drank water. He was so fucking anxious. All the time. Everything made him panic. Everything made him wanna go home. 

He took an online masseuse class as a wim, bored in his room while his parents were at work. Akiteru had moved out before he had moved back in, but he overheard his older brother whispering to his parents about how depressing it was to see Kei like this. How bad he had gotten was somehow worse for Akiteru than it was for Kei. The class was easy enough, forcing him to click on the parts of the body and take quizzes on which muscle should be worked which way. He had gotten through the whole thing before realizing that he had to take an in-person practical to get his actual certification. He rolled his eyes, but the emails to schedule his test came in and he caved. 

He had actually shown up at a local spa, wrapped in long sleeves. There, he had met Yamaguchi. The rest was history: he didn’t want to stay, Yamaguchi wanted him too. Yamaguchi got him to cave. Eventually, he had worked at Karasuno Spa long enough where he had enough money to move out again. His parents were nervous, but above all, they were proud that he had seemingly managed to pull himself out of whatever he was going through. 

And then, the date. His new therapist, local to his new job and apartment, had listened carefully to what he told her. He went through his history, his time at college, his date. She hummed, tapping her pencil against her notepad. “Have you ever heard of agoraphobia?” she asked him. He had shaken his head. “It’s a form of anxiety disorder, where the symptoms worsen when put in situations where you perceive you might be embarrassed or unsafe. Agoraphobia makes you feel like you have to escape. It’s marked by severe avoidance and anticipation for other panic attacks. Does that sound familiar?” Tsukki had nodded, blinking to himself. 

Agoraphobia. The word gave him comfort, and something to research. He was put on the right medication. He saw his therapist weekly, and then biweekly as symptoms got considerably better. He would never be ‘cured’ so to speak, but he would learn how to cope better. 

\---

When he woke up, confused and a bit disoriented - he must have fallen asleep on the couch - he realized it was Friday. It was noon. He had a gathering (seriously, what was he supposed to call this thing?) in five hours. He scrambled to his phone, and he hesitated over who to call. Yamaguchi might freak him out more if he was being honest, plus he was kinda useless when it came to fashion. He just told Kei everything looked great and tried to get him to buy him food. He called Suga. 

“Suga?” He asked weakly into the phone. 

“Hey Kei!” Suga says to him. “What’s up? Got your date today?” 

“One, it is not a date.” Kei reminds him, scowling. “Two, I don’t know what to wear to my...gathering.” 

“Are you asking me for  _ help _ , Tsukishima!” Suga definitely has a shit-eating grin on his face. 

“No. Nevermind. I’m calling Yamaguchi-” Tsukki goes to hang up the phone. 

“I’m on my way over now! Have some outfits pulled for me, Tsukki! And shower before I get there, so I can blowdry your hair!” Suga giggles. “Also, I’m with Daichi, so he’s coming too.”

“Don’t invite anyone else,” Tsukki hisses. Suga laughs, but he knows for a fact Suga would invite everyone over to his apartment if he could. “Let me know when you’re on your way...and…” Tsukki grits his teeth as he moves towards the shower. “Thank...thank you.” 

“This is the best day of my life-” Tsukki cuts off Suga’s cackles before he can turn any redder. 

Kei showers a little on the hot side, trying to relax his body. He has so much anticipation flowing through him, he might cry. His effort goes into not picturing The Date of his past. His therapist had told him when he was being brave that his anxiety would try really hard to shout him down, but he had to work harder to keep going. It was going to be worth it. He was ready to exist again, to move past what had been haunting him. He was ready-

“Tsukki!” How the fuck did Suga get in his house. “Yamaguchi was waiting outside with tongue piercing, so he let me and Daichi in!”

“You were supposed to text me!” Tsukki shouts back. Oh god. He hadn’t prepared for this. He wasn’t ready. He was stupid for ever thinking he could do this. 

“I did! You didn’t answer!” Suga calls back, voice casual. “C’mon out, or I’m dragging you out of the shower myself!” Tsukki gulped. He still had time to cancel. 

“Kei, if I find out you canceled the date while you were in the bathroom…” Yamaguchi probably seemed really peppy to everyone else, but Tsukki knew that tone was dangerous.

“I wasn’t going to!” Tsukki grunted back, stepping out of the shower and turning it off. He started to dry off, grumbling about how Yamaguchi sucked, and Suga was ruining his life. He threw on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, exiting the bathroom and glaring at everyone in his house (except Daichi). 

“Hi Tsukishima,” He greeted. “Sorry about them. They’re excited.” 

“I can tell. Don’t you and your boy toy have something better to be doing, Tadashi?” Tsukki glowered at him. 

“I prefer the term man whore, actually,” Terushima winks back at Yamaguchi. “But I am dedicated to my lover. My pooh bear. My honey bunches of oats. My-”

“Ok, I  _ get it _ ,” Tsukki stared up at his ceiling. Why was the world doing this to him? “Suga, can you just pick out an outfit? I don’t have a lot of time.” 

“I saw your outfits, and I ignored them and went into your closet,” Suga shrugs at him, twisting a brush around in between his fingers. “I found this really cute shirt, and a pair of pants that will accentuate your cute butt!”

“My cute...you went into my  _ closet _ ?” Tsukki really needed better friends. His look of horror does nothing to discourage any of the people currently torturing him. Suga tugs him onto a kitchen chair, humming idly while he combs through Kei’s hair. It doesn’t feel bad, but Tsukki definitely is not a touchy person so he’s tense. 

“Relax, Tsukki! We’ll all be here to see you off on your big day!” Yamaguchi teases him. 

“Like hell you will. You’re all leaving before they get here,” Tsukki scowls as Suga continues to tug at his hair. “Ow! Suga, stop pulling so hard.” 

“Bathroom! C’mon, I gotta blow dry it.” Suga takes his hand and continues to drag him around his own house. “Don’t be a baby,” He points an accusatory finger at Tsukki before pulling out the blow dryer with a wicked grin. “Your hair is going to be so fluffy.” Suga pats his head assuredly, getting to work on his hair. 

Tsukki scowled, but he was very grateful to Suga for taking this over. It helped his anxiety a ton to have someone making these kinds of decisions for him. Suga finishes quickly, smiling at his work and spraying some leave-in conditioner in his hair. “Thanks, Suga,” Tsukki grumbles. He looks good though, Tsukki has to admit. Suga doesn’t answer - instead, his eyes are twinkling when he smiles. 

“Outfit time!” Yamaguchi cheers from Tsukki’s bedroom. “Terushima helped! He actually works in the fashion industry!” 

“He has a job outside of harassing me in my own home?” Tsukki says, it doesn’t have any bite to it though. “Oh my  _ god _ , those pants aren’t going to fit me anymore!” The jeans the group had picked out for him were ridiculously tight. He had brought them back because he had lost a lot of weight when he stopped eating for a while, but now they would be painfully snug against his legs. The shirt they had picked with one of his more casual button-ups, it was black. 

“Just try them on, Kei,” Yamaguchi commands him. “Go! Your ass depends on it!” 

Kei scowls to himself, being left alone in his bedroom. The shirt wasn’t terrible, to be honest. It fit him well and made his arms look really nice (having muscular arms was one of the perks of being a masseuse). The material was also on the lighter side. The jeans were not gonna fit though. He gets one leg in, and then the next. Yeah. Yeah, they did make his butt look something special. He normally accepted the fact that he was flat as a board...maybe his clothes just didn’t fit? He would have to research…

“Tsukki!! Are you done?” Yamaguchi calls. Tsukki grabs his glasses from his desk and puts them back on, exiting his room. “Told you they’d fit,” Yamaguchi teases. “You got cake!”

“I do not have-” Tsukki starts to argue, eye twitching. This was getting annoying. 

“No bro…” Terushima assures him. “You got cake...damn, you wanna get a modeling job, let me know!” 

“Stop teasing me!” Tsukki crosses his arms, scowl somehow deepening. 

“No! I’m being serious,” Terushima assures him. “You look hot, dude.” Yamaguchi claps his hands together, passing Tsukki his chapstick and wallet and pushing him towards the door. 

“Have fun, Kei!” Suga calls. 

“Wait, they’re here?” He chokes out. He’s being pushed. “Wait, Yamaguchi! Stop pushing me! This is  _ my house _ !” His door is opening, and he is going to full on cry. He’s not ready, he’s not ready. 

“Tsukishima, look at me,” Yamaguchi holds his head in both of his hands, minding his hair. He has to be on his tippy-toes for it, and Tsukki would make fun of him at any other moment. He was terrified though. “You are a gift. You’re hot. You’re smart. You’re funny. It’s gonna be fun. If it doesn’t work out, I have a crowbar and a shovel.” 

“We’re not  _ killing _ them,” Daichi starts to say. Before he can finish, Tsukki is shoved out into the hallway and runs straight into a warm body. 

“That excited to see us?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! hope you all enjoy, your comments all make me so excited to write more <3 thank you! leave comments and kudos if you desire! i love them dearly


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shenanigans and dates and anxiety and more! tsukki grows up so fast ;-;
> 
> tw: anxiety attacks

“Shut the fuck up,” Tsukki scowls. “Yamaguchi pushed me out of my own house. Which is really rude of him. It’d be a shame if I never bought him take out  _ ever again _ .” Tsukki said loud enough so that Yamaguchi (who was inevitably spying) heard.

“Wait! It was a joke! Kei, say you’re kidding!” Yamaguchi shouted through the door. “Babe, do you think he’s kidding?” 

“Get away from the door,” Kei hears Daichi scold them lightly. Then it’s quiet again. Tsukki brushes himself off, having fallen on the ground from being pushed. 

“It’s ok!” Bokuto blurts out - that was who he had run straight into, it seems, “I’ll catch you like that all the time!” 

“Cheesy, Bo,” Kuroo grins, but he’s leaning over Tsukki menacingly. “Can we go? I’m hungry.”

“I would love to get up, but Bokuto is on top of me,” Tsukki reminds him, deadpanned. 

“Oh! Sorry!” Bokuto scrambles onto his feet, and Tsukishima notices that Akaashi is trying not to laugh. Kei managed to get through the whole encounter without panicking or turning red. A mission accomplished - now for the rest of his date. Tsukki gets up next, glaring at his door menacingly. 

“I’ll make Yamaguchi apologize to you-” Tsukki starts to move back towards it (was he hoping to avoid more interaction? Maybe? What’s it to you?). 

“Nope. We’re going; c’mon, Tsukki.” Kuroo drags him forwards, and Tsukki grumbles about it, but he doesn’t deny him. If he didn’t leave now, he never would. “I had the worst day ever at work today. We had this client…” Kuroo starts talking, and Tsukki stifles laughs throughout the stories Kuroo tells about his work, which are admittedly crazy. If he focuses on the conversation, he almost forgets why he’s so nervous. He even let’s Kuroo grab his hand more than once, and he let’s Bokuto lean on his side. He’s shocked by himself, honestly. 

The walk to the restaurant is fine, and getting settled is alright too. He feels natural with them, his speaking which is normally stuttered out or shortcoming out like he’s normal. He still wrings his hands under the table, and still looks for ways out of the restaurant. He finds the bathroom when they walk in - he takes the outside seat next to Kuroo. He’s sorry - he really is. He’s so guilty that he needs to assure himself an escape, but out of all his habits, this one is probably the least destructive. He lets his mind wander to nails clawing the skin out from under his thighs, convincing himself he was going to die if he left his house. He’s snapped out of his thoughts when they drag him back into what they were talking about. “Hey, Tsukki?” Kuroo starts. “Why aren’t you in college? You’re really smart, I can tell.”

“Hm,” Tsukki answers back, fiddling with the fork on his plate. “Well-”

“You don’t have to tell us!” Bokuto tells him quickly. “Not everyone wants to go to college! Even if they can!” Bokuto smiles at him encouragingly, snagging a crouton off of Akaashi’s plate. “Plus, you’re like the bestest massage man in the world!”

“Masseuse,” Akaashi gently corrects. 

“Don’t let Yamaguchi hear you say that,” Tsukki murmurs back, “I started college. I did fine. Didn’t want to do it anymore.” Tsukishima frowns. “My job pays me enough now, so I never got back to it.”

“Have you thought about online courses?” Akaashi hits away Bokuto’s fork from his own plate. Bokuto pouts dejectedly, and Tsukki, who’s appetite is decreasing steadily as the conversation gets out of his comfort zone, offers him a bite which he takes with a huge smile. 

“Yamaguchi brings them up a lot,” Tsukki responds. He doesn’t trail off, but he tries to use his voice to indicate that they should drop it. Before, when he was undiagnosed and unmedicated, he would’ve lashed out. He almost does it out of habit, but he likes them. He keeps his mouth shut. 

“We should keep Tsukki around if he’s just gonna let me take his food when he’s done,” Bokuto interrupts, mouth full of pasta. “Also cuz he’s got a really cute butt...the food is a plus though!” Tsukishima raises an eyebrow at him, but he is so grateful for the change in subject he doesn’t even correct him. He gave up trying to convince them not to call him Tsukki - it was exhausting, and not worth the effort. The butt comment was a bit much though. 

He had been waiting all night for the answer to his question - what were the three of them? Who was dating? Kei had observed them, watching for signs that two were more physical with each other, but they were all equally physical and it was ridiculous. He was convinced they were fucking with him, but the frustration and urge to know was distracting him from the anxiety that always comes when he goes out to eat:  _ what if the food is bad, what if I’m allergic to it, what if someone comes in and robs the place, what if there’s an earthquake, what if they drug me, what if I freak them out, what if _ … “I bet it’s driving you crazy, not knowing.” Kuroo’s grin is the definition of shit-eating. 

“Not knowing what?” Bokuto asks, looking up from whatever he was showing Akaashi on his phone, heads leaning super close. Tsukishima glowers at Kuroo, crossing his arms. His hair was longer than it had been, so when he tilted his head down to look pouty, it covers his eyes. Kuroo sweeps it back, maintaining eye contact before Tsukki shoves his hand away, blushing again. Kuroo laughs loudly, drawing the attention of others in the restaurant. 

“Would you shut up?” Tsukki hisses. “Your laugh is terrible.”

“I think it’s cute, bro,” Bokuto assures Kuroo, linking their fingers. 

“Bro...you mean that?” Kuroo answers back, lowering his gaze dramatically as if he is a heartbroken schoolgirl. 

“Yeah bro...your laugh lights up my world,” Bokuto smiles again, and even though the situation is fucking ridiculous, Tsukishima thinks he might jump in front of traffic for that smile. Akaashi gives them both a fond look, and Tsukki suddenly notices the tension. How...how he’s intruding into their lives. Did they actually invite him here, or was it a pity invite? Do they just want to hook up or something? 

“Are you ok?” Akaashi asks him, interrupting his train of thought. 

“Fine,” Tsukki responds quickly. He could feel himself emotionally shutting off. 

“Would you like to head back?” Akaashi is gentle when he says it - it throws Tsukki off. Normally, people would get frustrated at his inability to stay out. Normally, they would drop him off and never contact him again. And normally, it didn’t bother him. The idea of never seeing the people he meets again shouldn’t upset him. This time, it does. It terrifies him to his very core. 

“I don’t mind,” Tsukki lets the words drip out of his mouth carefully. He is trying to be casual, but he’s pretty sure Akaashi can tell it’s bullshit. “But I will start to mind if you don’t tell me what’s going on, not knowing is... _ annoying _ .”

“Ohoho!” Kuroo’s grinning again, and Tsukki resists the urge to punch him. “Let me grab the check, and then we’ll head back and spill our secrets.” 

“You’re not paying for this all on your own,” Tsukki says defiantly. “I’m plenty mature enough to pay for my own meals.”

“No one said you weren’t,” Kuroo shoots back, “But we took you out, and we’re paying.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Tsukki argues, furrowing his brow. “I’m not some hot girl you need to impress.”

“You’re definitely hot,” Bokuto ignores the rest of his statement. “Hey, Kaashi? Can we get ice cream on the way back?” 

“No, if you have sugar this late, you’ll be hyper all night Bokuto,” Akaashi tells him, watching as Kuroo fights Tsukki for the check. “We’ll walk you home.” Tsukki doesn’t know how they could tell he was reaching his limit, but he’s grateful for it. He’s exhausted from being on edge for so long - although, he’s normally much more burnt out than this after socializing. The three of them didn’t tire him out nearly as much as most people. 

“You don’t have to do that,” Tsukki argues. He is grateful though. It’s dark out, and he hates being alone outside at night. 

“We don’t have to,” Akaashi agrees. “But we’d like to.” 

“I can give you a piggyback ride if you want, Tsukki! I’ve never dropped anyone before, pinky promise!” Bokuto moves to grab him, but Kuroo intercepts with a light shove. They’re play-fighting on the sidewalk, laughing as they attempt to jump onto each other. Akaashi watches them fondly and offers Tsukki his hand to take. Kei surprises himself when he does take it, although he doesn’t keep holding on the whole way back. After a while, touch makes his skin burn. He was reaching his limits (he hated his limits, he wanted to hold hands with them forever). 

They arrive at Tsukki’s apartment, and he hesitates. “You could come in if you want?” He offers, hiding his shyness behind false confidence. 

“Fuck! He invited them over!” Tsukishima’s apartment seems to speak with Yamaguchi’s voice, and Tsukki hears crashing and several feet scrambling around his floor. Why were his idiot friends still in his house?

“Seems like you already have guests,” Akaashi smiles at his door knowingly. “Should we reveal the truth to you now?” 

“I am dying to know,” Tsukki deadpans. “But if someone in my apartment were to eavesdrop on something private, I would be pissed.” He hears more scrambling and light cursing again. Good. Let them be scared. 

“It’s not a secret,” Kuroo tells him. His stupid smirk is back. “We just like fucking with you. Besides, it’s kind of obvious. I know you’re smart. You should’ve figured it out by now.”

“Well-” Tsukki starts, but they’re all leaving his hall. 

“We’re all dating each other!” Bokuto calls to him, and they walk into the stairwell as the door shuts. 

Tsukki stands outside his door, jaw open for a second. Oh.  _ Duh _ . That made a lot of sense, considering how touchy they all were with each other. Yamaguchi opens his door and grabs Tsukki’s arm, dragging him inside. “How was it! Tell us all about it!” Yamaguchi starts to say, sitting Tsukki down on the couch next to his tongue-pierced boyfriend. 

“Why is he still here? Why are you still here?” Tsukki asks instead. He was socially exhausted, his head hurt. He needed to shower and sleep and decompress right now. 

“He won’t say anything!” Yamaguchi promises. “Um...what color are you at? Sorry, I forgot you might be overwhelmed.” Tsukki spares a glance at Terushima, who doesn’t seem confused at all. 

“Yellow,” Tsukki admits, fidgeting. He didn’t like that Terushima was in his space. Yamaguchi was fine, but Terushima was too new to be here right now. 

“Alright. Are you good if I leave with him? Do you want me to stay?” Yamaguchi asks gently. He looks concerned. 

“You can go. I just need to shower and sleep,” Tsukki assures him. “I’ll text you if it gets worse. I promise.” Yamaguchi nods, still looking worried. 

“You’ll tell me everything tomorrow?” Tadashi presses, grabbing Teru’s hand and moving towards the door. Tsukki makes an affirmative noise, and Yamaguchi is sated. He had too much to think about. Kei’s decompression went a little like this: he turned on the shower a bit too hot and scrubbed his body until he was sure it was clean. When he got out of the shower, he dried off and played some calming music on his phone as he brushed his hair and his teeth. If he needed to, he would turn on the TV and watch until he calmed down. He might draw while he listened to music. Then, he would go to bed and pass out until his brain could recharge. 

Tonight, even after all his work, he still buzzed with energy. He checked his phone one last time before passing out.

Koutarou Bokuto: TSUKKIIIIII 

Koutarou Bokuto: I can’t wait until we hang out AGAIN

Koutarou Bokuto: can we go bowling? 

Tetsurou Kuroo: Had lots of fun, Glasses ;)

Tetsurou Kuroo: Hope to see you again 

Tetsurou Kuroo: in those jeans specifically hehe 

Keiji Akaashi: sleep well

Keiji Akaashi: let me know if you want to schedule another date

Keiji Akaashi: I assure you, we all do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all enjoy! if you did, leave a comment or a kudos or both! i love them all dearly <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello friendssss <3 fun quirky reminder that yamaguchi has depression! pls make sure to take care of yourselves, not everyone wants to or has the emotional capacity to help you with your mental health issues and it is not their responsibility! set boundaries! thank u<3

“How’d it go?! Tsukki, I’m so proud of you!” Yamaguchi latches onto him at work the next day. On Saturdays, the spa closed early so Tsukki was trying to think of what he could be doing later that day so he wasn't lonely. Daichi greets them on the way inside, waving and getting back to whatever he’s doing on his computer. 

“It went fine,” Tsukki tells him, washing his hands in the breakroom and looking at his schedule. He had a leg massage early in the morning and a shoulder massage after that. It looked like he’d be able to leave before everyone else got to. He wasn't sure if that was good or bad. It meant being alone with his head a little too long for his liking “We went to the restaurant, talked, and got back. What’d you do in my apartment?”

“Not important,” Yamaguchi waved him off. “Did you find out who’s dating?”

“They’re all dating. Each other. And they want to take me on dates,” Tsukki deadpans. He didn’t know how to handle that information yet, so he was waiting to text them back. He was terrified - of messing it up or of what was going on in general, he wasn’t sure. He didn’t really have a problem with it, but he didn’t know how to react. 

“That’s so cool! Are you gonna date them?” Yamaguchi asks, yawning and stretching as his eyes peered over his own schedule. 

“What? No! That’s weird!?” Tsukki scowls, crossing his arms. 

“Oh, shut up. Who cares? If they make you happy, just go for it, dummy,” Yamaguchi hits the back of his head. 

“Why are you worried about being weird?” Kageyama has been eavesdropping while he watches Hinata play a game on his phone. “You’re already a creep. It won’t change anything. Hinata, you’re doing it wrong! Give me the phone!” 

“Go get your own game!” Hinata snips back, moving out of his reach. “He’s right though. Who cares if it’s weird? We work at a spa, and that takes a type of person. You can just be extra-freaky.”

“Extra-freaky with access to constant foursomes,” Noya is sitting next to Hinata. “Dodge! Shouyou, you suck at this game.” 

“That’s what I’ve been saying,” Kageyama grumbles. “Not about the foursomes, about the game-”

“Haha! Kageyama wants to have a _foursome_ !” Hinata teases him, standing up on the couch and pointing. “Kageyama _sucks_!” 

“Shut up, dumbass! Get off the couch! Nishinoya, why are you even in our break room?!” Kageyama hisses, turning red. Tsukki is grateful for the distraction from his own woes - once they start arguing about Noya’s access to their employee lounge, there’s no going back. Yamaguchi rolls his eyes, shoving Tsukki lightly. 

“It’s one thing if you don’t like them and you’re over it. That’s totally fine. But if you like them...if you want this…” Yamaguchi trails off. “I don’t know. I’d hate to see you let something silly get in the way of something good.” Tsukki knows he’s right. It’s all he’s been able to think about. When he hears their names, his hands shake but he’s excited. He goes through the motions of his day thinking about Bokuto’s smile and Kuroo’s dumb laugh and Akaashi’s eyes. He wants to say he hates it - he really does. It’s welcome though, compared to his normal constant fear. He wonders if he should tell them. If he tells them, will they run? Will they figure he’s too much to handle? He finishes both of his massages without much trouble, smiling at the clients as per usual and making his way home when he’s done.

When he gets into his apartment, he takes off his shoes and collapses on his couch. He had to answer them, but he had no idea what to say. When was it appropriate to tell some guys that you might like that you have a crippling anxiety disorder? He groaned, pulling out his phone and checking his messages.

Koutarou Bokuto: HIIII TSUKKI GOOD MORNING TO MY FAVORITE BLONDE!!!!!

Koutarou Bokuto: I saw this really cute bird this morning on the way to the gym :D

Koutarou Bokuto: Lemme know when you’re back from work and we can text again before the other two losers get back :DDD

Keiji Akaashi: Good morning, Tsukishima

Keiji Akaashi: I hope you slept well 

Keiji Akaashi: I hope we can go bowling soon 

Keiji Akaashi: :)

Tetsurou Kuroo: Hey baby, are you a loan? 

Tetsurou Kuroo: cuz you got my interest ;)

Tetsurou Kuroo: Plan out next date with Akaashi, please

Tetsurou Kuroo: need my bratty glasses fix ;D

Tsukki sighed, smiling at his phone despite himself. Yeah. He wasn’t ready to give up on this quite yet. He messages Bokuto back first, figuring he was most likely to respond. 

Kei Tsukishima: did you take pictures of the bird?

He sends the text before he can think too hard about it. Being like this was frustrating beyond belief. He _hated_ second-guessing every word that came out of his mouth, every text that he sent. It was frustrating and annoying, and he felt like a child. He had a hard time talking to his therapist about this stuff too, the intrusive anxious thoughts. His ‘what ifs’ could go on forever and ever, and the more he said them the more ridiculous they sounded. 

Koutarou Bokuto: No :( I’m sorry Tsukki! I will next time!!

Koutarou Bokuto: Are you home already? Can I come over?? I’m so lonely! And Akaashi and Kuroo both work extra super late on Saturdays and I’m BORED

Kei Tsukishima: I don’t see why not

He says it without considering why that is a terrible idea and winces. Oh god. Oh no. Bokuto was funny and loud and energetic. He was going to hate being alone with Kei! Also, was that allowed in their rules? How was he supposed to know what was ok and what wasn’t ok when you were a _thing_ with three other people? 

Koutarou Bokuto: Really?!?!?!

Koutarou Bokuto: It’s ok if no! I don’t wanna be annoying!! Kaashi says I come on too hard sometimes 

Kei Tsukishima: you can come

Kei Tsukishima: you only annoy me a little bit 

Koutarou Bokuto: that was definitely the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me!!!!! :D

Koutarou Bokuto: I knew I was your favorite :) 

Koutarou Bokuto: See you in five!

Tsukki sat still for a moment before scrambling off the couch and attempting to clean his whole house. Five minutes?! He rapidly starts throwing things into the trash, papers, random stuff on the kitchen counter. Should he make food? Should they watch a movie? What would Bokuto even want to do? What if he hated him after this? Why did he fucking push the idea? Tsukki picked up his phone on a whim, not even fully acknowledging the ringing. 

“Tsukki?” It was his brother. Oh fuck, _his brother_. He figured it was Tadashi! Speaking of Tadashi, he seemed a little off at work today. Tsukki should reach out to him...

“Hi, Akiteru!” Tsukki answers, stubbing his toe on the living room table and hissing out a curse. “Can I call you later?”

“Are you busy?” He asks, mildly amused. “Yamaguchi told me you had new friends, but I honestly didn’t believe him.”

“Why are you calling Yamaguchi on your own time?” Tsukki grunted, pulling out some movies he thought Bokuto might like. “I don’t have any new friends...just...acquaintances! It’s not important!” If he squeaked when the doorbell rang, that was between him and his brother. “I have to _go_ , Akiteru,” Tsukki says again, scrambling towards the door. 

“Tsuuukki! I’m hungry! Can we have something to eat?” Bokuto whines outside the door. “Is that rude? Are you on the phone? Tsukki!” 

“He sounds like quite the character,” Akiteru muses. “Keep me on the line, I wanna hear what he’s like-”

“Shut up,” Tsukki hisses. “Bye! Talk to you later!” He hangs up quickly and rushes towards the door, panting with the exertion of cleaning everything up while he tried to keep his life together. “Hi, sorry about the wait,” Tsukki tells him, choking out the words.

“Did you clean up just for me?” Bokuto’s eyes are shining, and Tsukki physically holds in his smile. “You’re the cutest, Tsukki! Can we order some food or something?” 

“Sure,” Tsukki agrees easily. “I took out some movies if you wanna look through them.” 

“I don’t mind what we watch,” Bokuto tells him, plopping down on his couch. His hair is damp from an obvious shower (Tsukki supposed that made sense, Bokuto was an athletic trainer). “But you should let me pay for dinner! Since we’re at your house!” 

“No need for that,” Tsukki rolled his eyes as Bokuto looked through the selections on his table and bit his lower lip. Tsukishima decided it was very unfair that he looked so good with his hair down, and that he was no longer allowed to wear tank tops. “I also have Netflix, if you wanted to scroll through that.” Bokuto’s eyes lit up at that, and he searched for the remote. 

“Do you like nature documentaries? Kuroo and Akaashi never wanna watch them with me, but I love looking at all the cool pictures! Plus, I really like birds!” Bokuto isn’t looking at Tsukki, but he can tell that he’s nervous. 

“That...that sounds good, actually,” Tsukki wasn’t about to talk about how much he loved documentaries. When he was at university, he wanted to be a paleontologist. He liked watching documentaries on nature, but he liked the ones on geology the most. Studying fossils was awesome - sometimes he regrets not following through with it. Sometimes. He remembers how hard it was for him to go to class, late nights panicking about if he did his work correctly, holding his knees so close to his chest he thought he cracked a rib. But that was then, and this was now. He should really be focusing on the person in his house. 

“Do you wanna get in more comfortable clothes?” Bokuto asks him, looking him up and down in a way that makes him blush. “I brought over my favorite blanket from our apartment! We can share if you want! Then we can order takeout and watch...oh! Look, this one’s on the arctic! Arctic birds are really cool!” Bokuto’s attention is quickly back on the TV. Tsukki considers his options: he could change, Bokuto was in comfortable clothes so it might be weird if Tsukki was still in his khakis and a collared shirt. He would also feel a lot better and be able to breathe easier. Was that weird though? “Go change! Wear those dinosaur pajamas.”

Tsukki rolls his eyes: “You have to earn the right to see those in person,” He grumbles. It’s the right thing to say because Bokuto grins as he takes a big fluffy blanket out of his backpack and looks for a takeout place he’d want. When he enters his room, he takes a deep steadying breath. 

Kei Tsukishima: Bokuto is in my house.

Tadashi Yamaguchi: get it Tsukki ;)

Kei Tsukishima: I’m freaking out, should I take something 

Kei Tsukishima: also, don't think I don't notice something is wrong. You're going to tell me

Tadashi Yamaguchi: If you need to, then yeah

Tadashi Yamaguchi: but you said to make sure you only took one when you were having a panic attack, are you having a panic attack?

Yamaguchi was ignoring him! How rude. 

Kei Tsukishima: no, but I think I might

Tadashi Yamaguchi: take half a pill then, and make sure you log it for Dr. Jean, our favorite therapist <3

Tadashi Yamaguchi: and yeah, I can tell that tomorrow’s gonna be a pretty red low day

Tadashi Yamaguchi: already feeling lethargic :/ can you come over after work ??

Kei Tsukishima: Yes, obviously.

Kei Tsukishima: try to focus on countering it now. Can you get Terushima there?

Tadashi Yamaguchi: haven’t told him about my depression :p

Tadashi Yamaguchi: go get ⅓ of your mans Tsukki

Kei Tsukishima: this isn’t over Tadashi, you should tell him

Tsukki considers calling Yamaguchi right then and there to talk about this, but he knows that Tadashi will get defensive. Yamaguchi liked to be contacted when he was ready, so Tsukki would discuss it with him tomorrow. He changed into a pair of sweats and a soft t-shirt before splitting a pill and popping it in his mouth. It would make him drowsy, but that was alright. He could handle a bit of exhaustion; it wasn’t anything new, and it was way better than freaking out in front of Bokuto. When he re-entered the living room, Bokuto was on the phone with a local restaurant. “I wanted American! I’m getting a hamburger! What do you want, Tsukki? Ohhh, can we share mozzarella sticks?” Tsukki shot him an exasperated look. “I’m taking that as a yes!” 

Tsukki lumbers over to the couch and parks himself in the corner, curled up. “Do they have chicken fingers?” He asks. It was one of his comfort foods, and he was kind of craving it. 

“Can he have chicken fingers, please?” Bokuto asks, kicking his legs back and forth against his sofa. “Awesome! See you guys soon!” Bokuto hangs up the phone and spreads the blanket on the couch. He didn’t push closer to Tsukishima, which he was very grateful for. “Can I press play?” He asks, and Tsukki tucks himself under the blanket, sitting up. Tsukki expected Bokuto to watch the movie loudly, but he was quiet. Sometimes, he hummed to himself or laughed at something an animal did on screen, but he was overall silent. It was...bizarre honestly. Tsukki didn’t mind though, he found it really pleasant to have company where he would normally be alone. He yawned, rubbing at his eyes and ignoring the way that Bokuto shot him a worried look. “Are you tired?”

“No,” Tsukki shoots back quickly, adding a little bite in his voice hoping that Bokuto would drop it. He does not drop it. Bokuto is seemingly very good at ignoring when Tsukki snaps. It’s infuriating. 

“Hm...you wanna lean on me? You don’t have to! Kuroo says I make a really good pillow, and I promise I won’t fidget!” Bokuto gives him a big smile, and Tsukki tries not to let him know how much that made his heart swell. What was he, some kind of sap?

“I’m not really good at touching other people,” Tsukki tells him before he can hold back. His eyes widen when he realizes what escaped out of his mouth. Oh fuck, that made him sound weird. “I mean...I’m not touchy. Or whatever. So if that’s what you’re expecting then just leave-”

“You don’t have to be good at it, Tsukki,” Bokuto corrects him, pausing the documentary. “It’s ok if you’re not touchy though! I figured you were nervous! That’s fine - Akaashi hates touching strangers! Makes him all panicky! He says that if I initiate though, he’s better with it. I figured I’d ask! It’s no big deal though, promise.” Bokuto fiddles with his fingers and Tsukki realizes that he wasn’t trying to push anything. He takes a deep breath, grateful for his medication. 

“Sorry...for lashing out. I um...I get nervous-” Before Tsukki can continue, Bokuto shakes his head and smiles. 

“It’s ok! It’s good to set boundaries when you need them,” He turns his head back to the documentary, pressing play and they settle into a comfortable silence. Tsukki was worried it would be awkward or uncomfortable, but it’s really not. It’s actually quite nice. He finds himself dozing off, eyes closing, and opening when he catches himself. He is genuinely interested in the documentary, but he’s also had a long day and taken medication that makes him tired. Plus, the voice is really low and calming and he’s really comfortable with the blanket Bokuto bought. 

He wakes up to the doorbell ringing. Whatever he’s leaning on moves to go get it, and he mutters a complaint at the loss of his pillow. Someone shakes his shoulder lightly, and he opens his eyes, yawning and rubbing at them. “Foods here!” Bokuto says, voice gentle even though he’s obviously excited. “I’m so hungry!” Tsukki realizes that he, too, is starving. He isn’t sure how long he was asleep for, but he felt way more rested than he had been. He’s still a little sluggish, letting his oversized shirt fall slightly off his shoulder and grabbing for his glasses (when did he take those off?). “Oh! Here you go! You fell asleep on me, so I took them off so you wouldn't break them!” 

“Th’nks,” Tsukki murmurs, putting them on and letting his eyes focus. Wait, he fell...he fell asleep on Bokuto?! Oh god, after that whole thing about ‘I don’t like to touch people’, God Tsukki! You’re so embarrassing! He turned red, blinking quickly, about to shoot off rapid-fire apologies. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Bokuto laughs lightly, taking the food out of the containers. “I figured you must’ve been really tired! And comfy! Made me feel all warm and fuzzy that you trusted me enough to fall asleep on me, and you’re the cutest sleeper I’ve ever seen!” He takes a bite out of his hamburger, freezing when he realizes what he said. “Oh! Don’t tell Akaashi or Kuroo I said that! They’ll be jealous…” He chews thoughtfully. “Sleepy Tsukki is one of my favorite versions of you I think,” Bokuto grins, watching Tsukki take a bite out of his chicken tender. 

When they finish eating, Bokuto gets ready to go, and Tsukishima can’t help but be a little sad at the loss. He wondered what it would be like to fall asleep next to them and wake up the morning after. He wondered how often he’d feel ok enough to fall asleep on his couch. His stomach twisted at the thought. He had felt so much less anxious than normal - the company was great, and he was happy... 

This was dangerous. “Thanks for letting me come over!” Bokuto grins at his door, “I had lots of fun! Plus, we got to be alone! Kuroo is gonna be so jealous.” Bokuto looks at Tsukishima one last time, seemingly considering something. “Hey, Tsukki?” The way his eyes are raking over Kei makes him turn pink. “Can I...um...can I…” Before he can second-guess himself, Tsukki leans in and presses a chaste kiss against his lips, pulling away quickly. They’re soft, and he smells good - like soap and laundry detergent and a little bit like rosemary. He tastes like the mint icecream they shared. _Why did you do that? What if he didn’t want to kiss you? What if he was asking to never see you again?_ “Wow! Oh my gosh! I am...can I...can we do that again? One more time? Or a bunch more times! As many times as I’m allowed! That was awesome! Please Tsukki? Can I tell Akaashi and Kuroo? Does this mean you wanna date us?” 

  
“Slow _down_ ,” Tsukki hisses. “We...we can do it one more time. Maybe more later, if you want. Sorry I didn’t ask.” He trails off, face so red he could feel the heat. Bokuto shakes his head rapidly, to let Tsukki know that it was super okay that he didn’t ask. Bokuto steals another peck on the lips, grinning like he’s won a fucking war. Which, honestly, he sort of did. “Y-you can tell them! And um...maybe? I’m not sure. I do, but...we just have to talk about it.” It comes out meaner than he intended, but Bokuto’s smile somehow gets bigger, and he bounds out of Kei’s door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! a longer chapter for you tonight hehe as always i love comments and kudos <3 thank you for reading


	9. Chapter 9

Yamaguchi doesn’t come to work the next morning - not that Tsukki is surprised, he normally doesn’t when he gets really bad. Tsukki wonders idly what set it off, making sure to shoot him a text throughout the day so that he has some sense of contact with the outside world. Suga has already given Tsukki the missing massage appointments and taken the rest himself. Yamaguchi was kind, always willing to pick up slack if someone needed it. The rest of their office knew that and were ready to help him when he needed it.

“Tsukishima,” Daichi calls him from the front office. “Customer for you at the front door!” Tsukki sighs, stretching and taking a sip of the coffee he had just made himself with the office Keurig. He wasn’t super happy to have to be at work, but he knew Yamaguchi would be upset if they had to turn down his clients because of him. Despite the fact that Tsukki said they wouldn’t care, Yamaguchi was very loyal to Karasuno Spa. 

Tsukki expected one of his three idiots, not Mr. Tongue Piercing. “Oh,” he says, frowning. “What do you want?”

“Is Tadashi ok?” Terushima asks, eyes filled with some sort of stormy vibe to them. “He isn’t answering my texts. Is he sick?” Tsukki _hated_ this kind of thing. First of all, it wasn’t really his place to tell Terushima what Yamaguchi’s deal was. Second, Terushima hadn’t made it on the list of people that Tsukishima tried to be nice to yet. He wasn’t really willing to try now. 

“If he’s not answering, take the hint,” Kei answers, looking down at his fingernails. 

“Did I do something wrong? Please, Tsukki-”

“Don’t call me that,” Tsukki hisses. His frown deepened, taking a deep breath. “Look, it’s not my place to tell you Yamaguchi’s business. He asked me not to tell you, so I can’t say anything.” Tsukki grimaced at his own admission. “Please stop being so desperate outside the building, people are trying to relax.” 

“Tsukki!” His head whips to the street, where Kuroo is bounding towards him, coming out of a very expensive car. Was that his?! “Is it your lunch break? Bo said he got a kiss, and let me tell you, that was _not cool_ Blondie.” 

“Shut up,” Tsukki frowns, but he makes no move to push Kuroo away when he walks closer. Terushima stares at the interaction with wide eyes, and he breaks into a smile. Tsukishima gives him his best murderous glance, but it doesn’t really work with Kuroo giving him a batch of what looks like homemade fucking cookies. God damn it! 

“You’re all bark and no bite, huh?” Tsukishima wants to punch his best friend’s _stupid_ boyfriend really hard in the face. Tsukishima was very scary, and he deserved to be recognized as such. He’s about to open his mouth to respond when Kuroo looks Terushima up and down.

“He giving you trouble, babe?” Kuroo’s voice drops to a level that Tsukki hasn’t heard yet. If Kuroo was more confident in their relationship, he thinks that his arm would’ve snuck around Tsukki’s waist. The word babe makes him flush, the protectiveness...that was _hot_. 

“No, that’s Yamaguchi’s boyfriend,” Tsukki explains, clearing his throat and hiding his blush in his phone. Angry Kuroo instantly is back to normal, grin widening. 

“Ohoho?” Kuroo checks his watch, and Tsukki notices he’s in a well-fitted, black suit. He’s wearing a black button-down with the first button undone and no tie. Tsukki is not staring. He’s not. “See something you like, Tsukki?” Kuroo notices his gaze, and grins, leaning forward. 

“Shut up,” Tsukishima grumbles back, scowling and looking away (tearing his gaze away, Kuroo should never get out of that suit). 

“Where is Freckles, anyways? He sick today?” Kuroo looks around as if Yamaguchi would magically appear out of the branches of a bush. Terushima gives him a pointed look, and Tsukki silently prays that whatever encounter he was having would magically be interrupted by one of his bosses. No such luck. 

“He’s sick,” Tsukki agrees, crossing his arms over his chest and looking longingly back inside. “Can I go back to work now, or are you going to sit here and bother me more?” He’s not sure if that’s for Terushima or Kuroo, and frankly, he hopes they both take it seriously and leave. To no one’s surprise, they do not. 

“Guess that means you’re his for the evening?” Kuroo asks, pretending that Terushima wasn’t there. It was kind of funny, Tsukki guessed he was still mad over how aggressive Yamaguchi’s boyfriend had gotten. Tsukki nods, scoffing at Kuroo’s pout. “Can I have a kiss? To hold me over? I get Kei-withdrawals, you know...I might die.” Kuroo leans teasingly forward, and Tsukki turns scarlet, clearing his throat. Terushima lets out a laugh, but he is sated with the answers Kei has given. 

“Thanks, Tsukki!” Terushima cheers. “I’ll text you later, so you can tell me how Tadashi is doing! You’re the best!” He hums as he strolls away from them, and Tsukki frowns, holding back profanity he desperately wishes to shout at him. 

“He prefers Tsukishima,” Kuroo calls after him, voice unnaturally serious. He rolls his eyes, waiting for Terushima to finally leave. “Sorry he made you uncomfortable, baby. He got to you before I could save you.” Tsukki rolled his eyes, but he was a lot calmer without Terushima here. 

“Most people make me nervous,” Tsukki murmurs out, moving his glasses to the side to rub at his face. Kuroo’s smile widens, and he starts to snicker. 

“So we’re special, hm?” Tsukki scowls at that, face turning pink. Kuroo’s laugh only gets louder. “Can I touch you?” 

Tsukki thinks about it seriously. On one hand, he really wanted a hug. He was stressed out, and Kuroo always smelled really good. He remembered that from the massages he had given. On the other, the idea that he wanted someone to touch him gave him way too much anxiety to be normal. “Fine...but you have to stop when I say-” Before Tsukki can finish, Kuroo wraps him up in a warm embrace. Tsukki squeaks (later, he will vehemently deny this happening), but he relaxes into the hug with a sigh after a few seconds. He was kinda wound up, and as much as he hated to admit it, the three idiots who thrust themselves into his life had slowly become sources of comfort for his anxiety. 

“You’ll text us later, yeah?” Kuroo asks softly as Kei presses his head into Kuroo’s shoulder. 

“Mm,” Kei hums his affirmative. 

“Can I pretty please have a kiss?” Kuroo grins down at him, pushing a piece of Tsukki’s hair behind his ear. Tsukki was going to _pass_ out from how embarrassed he was. 

“...just one,” Tsukki mutters, looking to the side and down and anywhere but Kuroo’s stupid eyes. Kuroo pressed their foreheads together, turning Tsukki’s chin gently so that they were face to face. 

“Just one is all I need,” Kuroo tells him, staring determinedly at Tsukki’s bottom lip, trailing his thumb over it lightly. It was weird - Tsukki thought to himself - that he was somehow able to do all these things. Every time he let himself think about how much he was doing, he psyched himself out. They were going to get bored of him; it was inevitable. At this point, he was just waiting it out. Kuroo leaned in and pressed their lips together, tightening his hold around Tsukki’s waist and pulling him closer. The kiss deepened, and Tsukki hesitantly wrapped his arms around Kuroo’s neck, and Tsukki felt Kuroo’s tongue poke at his lips until he opened up and let it in. Someone cleared their throat behind him and Tsukki jumped back, face burning red. _Oh god, did that just happen? Were they gonna think he was easy?!_ “I’m telling Bokuto I got tongue!” Kuroo cackled, shooting Tsukki a wink and swinging his car keys around on his finger. “Text you later, babe.”

“Babe?” Suga’s eyes lit up, smiling in a knowing way. 

“Shut _up_ ,” Tsukki hissed, burying his face in his hands. “How many of you saw that?” 

“Get it, Tsukki!” Noya shouted from inside the door. More people cheered and Tsukki glared at the sky - he hated his job. Tsukki sighs, walking back into the building and promising that he was going to poison Suga’s coffee. 

\---

When work was over, Tsukki made his way over to Yamaguchi’s apartment, stifling a yawn and bringing the cookies Kuroo had made him along. He considered his options: one, he could try to get Yamaguchi up and talk to him about whatever was upsetting him with tough love. Two: he could distract him with dumb stories about himself, and get him to admit what was bothering him in a sneaky way. Tsukki had never been good at sneaking around Yamaguchi - he would definitely see through it. He might appreciate the gesture though. 

He knocks, waits for a second, and sighs. No answer. It was that kinda day, then, wasn’t it? He pulled out his keyring and fumbled for Yamaguchi’s house key. He unlocks the door quietly, taking off his shoes and peeking inside. The apartment was dark, so Tsukki flicks on the light. “Tadashi?” Tsukki calls. He hears a grunt of acknowledgment and walks towards Yamaguchi’s bedroom. “Work was stupid today,” Tsukki calls out, so Yamaguchi can hear where he is in the apartment. He opens the door to Yamaguchi's room gently, peeking his head in. Yamaguchi is curled up in a tight ball on his bed, eyes open (barely) and pale skin blending into his cream sheets. “Have you eaten?” Tsukki asks, raising an eyebrow. Yamaguchi looks at him blankly. “Kuroo made me cookies, want to share?” Yamaguchi shifts on the bed to take a better look at the cookies presented to him. 

Tsukki sits next to him on the bed, unwrapping the bag and taking a bite. They were chocolate chip, and they were super good actually. He wondered if Kuroo was good at baking in general or if he got them at some sort of cafe. Yamaguchi didn’t move, and Tsukki sighed. “C’mon Yama, sit up for me,” Tsukki poked at his forehead, smiling when he swatted at Tsukki’s hand. “Sit up for me and try a bite of the cookie. Did you take your meds this morning?” Yamaguchi groaned softly, glaring at Tsukki and holding out a hand. “No cookies until we sit up.” 

“Mean,” Yamaguchi mutters. He sits up though, painfully slow. Tsukki nods at him, handing him a cookie and watching him nibble on it. He hummed appreciatively “Haven’t taken my meds.” 

“Alright,” Tsukki swings his legs off the bed, moving towards the kitchen and opening a cabinet to grab the pill bottle. He fills a cup up with water, takes out a pill, and walks back. “Drink the whole glass.” Yamaguchi frowns, but he listens, swallowing down the medication and a cup of water. “Your little boy toy came to work today,” Tsukki tells him. Yamaguchi keeps eating, seeming to ignore him. “He wanted to know where you were, but Kuroo was there and thought he was trying to mess with me. I thought he was going to throw a punch.” Yamaguchi smiles, rubbing his eyes. “I don’t particularly know him, but he seemed really worried about you.” 

“Did you tell him?” Yamaguchi’s voice is super scratchy. 

“Of course not,” Tsukki rolls his eyes. “But you should reach out to him today. I told him you were sick.” Tsukki’s phone buzzes and he checks the contact. Ah, it was Kuroo again. 

“Pick it up,” Yamaguchi murmurs, leaning his head against Tsukki’s shoulder. “He’s funny.”

Tsukki would never if Yamaguchi wasn’t so upset. “What.”

“Is that how you speak to someone who had their tongue down your throat?!” Kuroo’s cackle fills the room as Tsukki hears protest from what must be Bokuto. “You wound me, baby.” 

“Tsukki!!! Did you really kiss Kuroo with tongue?! That’s not fair! Not that I didn’t like our kisses...I want a billion of both types of kisses!” Bokuto trails off. “Can you turn the video on? I wanna see your cute face!”

Yamaguchi holds back a laugh, pressing his mouth into his hand and staring amusedly. The things Tsukki did for his best friend… “Is Freckles there?” Kuroo interrupts. “Tell him we say feel better!” 

“He can hear you,” Tsukki deadpans, watching as the other line’s camera flickers on. Kuroo is in his pajamas, and Bokuto is hanging off his shoulder excitedly. Kei feels a pang of want - he wishes he was there with them. But he also knew Yamaguchi needed him. Tadashi was infinitely more important. 

“Put on the camera,” Yamaguchi tells him, voice finally gaining some life to it. 

“If we’re calling my boyfriends, we’re calling yours after,” Tsukki declares, without thinking. His eyes widen at the silence that follows. “Wait-!” 

“Oh my _god_! Kuroo! Did you hear that?! He called us his boyfriends!!” Bokuto’s face had lit up, and Tsukki forced himself to not turn bright red. 

“I didn’t…! It was for _convenience_!” Tsukki sputters back. Yamaguchi is laughing full out now, giggling into his pillow while he chews on Kuroo’s cookies. 

“He _likes_ us!” Kuroo teases, leaning into the camera. “Put on the camera! I wanna see how red you are!”

“Absolutely not,” Tsukki grumbles, clearing his throat. “Yamaguchi needs to get out of bed, and I have stuff to do. I can’t be talking to-”

“Your boyfriends?” Yamaguchi offers, falling into another fit of laughter. 

“Traitor…” Tsukki mutters, shoving him lightly. “We have other things to do, Kuroo.”

“Speaking of other things to do…” Kuroo trails off, smiling as Akaashi takes the phone from him. 

“I am being left out of an elite group of people who have kissed you, Tsukishima,” Akaashi tells him bluntly. “This is quite rude. I would like to fix this problem as soon as possible.” Tsukki didn’t think he could get any more embarrassed. 

“I mean...I’m busy tonight…” Tsukki manages to get out. 

“I have dibs,” Yamaguchi tells Akaashi. “But tomorrow, you can have him back.” Tsukki glares at Tadashi, muttering out an affirmative. “We do have to get going. I got someone I have to call, and I need my emotional support spiteful, tall, angry, blonde-” 

“Ok, ok!” Tsukki hisses. “Bye! Talk to you tomorrow!”

  
“Anything for my _boyfriend_ -” Kuroo starts to say, and Tsukki hangs up before he can continue.


	10. Chapter 10

Tsukishima sighs, glaring at Yamaguchi who smiles back at him. “I do think they’re very good for you, you know,” Yamaguchi tells him. “I mean, you perk up whenever they call. And you let them touch you and everything!” 

“I know,” Tsukishima admits, leaning back and closing his eyes. “Tadashi, what happened?” 

“Nothing exactly happened,” Yamaguchi tells him, rolling his eyes when Kei raised an eyebrow. “You know...sometimes I just...get all low. And I did.”

“You’re supposed to tell people about that, when it happens,” Tsukishima reminds him, “So we can avoid depressive episodes.”

“I know, I know,” Yamaguchi insists, scrolling through Instagram on Kei’s phone. “I wanted to tell Terushima. I wanted to tell you, too. But Terushima is happy and energetic, he doesn’t need me bringing him down. You were also in a good mood because of your little boy toys. I can’t ruin that.” Yamaguchi trailed off, breath hitching. “I feel like I ruin everything, Tsukki. I don’t want to be like this anymore.” 

“I know,” Tsukki frowns. As a rule, Tsukki wasn’t touchy at all - he didn’t like hugs from most people; they made him nervous like he might move the wrong way or seem weird and awkward. He pulled Yamaguchi against him anyways, holding him tightly as he shakes. “You don’t ruin things, Tadashi. Stop being stupid. You know that.”

“I’m not being stupid-” Yamaguchi starts to say, voice cracking. 

“You are being entirely stupid,” Tsukki interrupts. “You never ruin my or anyone’s mood. You matter more to me than my…”

“Boyfriends.”

“My  _ boyfriends _ ,” Tsukki seethed. He rolls his eyes, but Yamaguchi is smiling again. “You matter more. You’re my best friend. You make other people happy. Now please, call your boyfriend up, and tell him what’s going on so he doesn’t harass me.” Tsukki shoved Yamaguchi away as he snickered, wiping at his eyes. “Come on. Call him up. I want him to apologize for having our whole office watch me outside while I was having a conversation.” 

“A conversation? One with lots of tongue?” Yamaguchi pulls out his phone anyways, “I’ll call him. He’s definitely not going to apologize to you, though.” Yamaguchi clicks on his contact, and the phone rings once and then twice before Terushima’s voice starts going off. 

“Hey babycakes,” He begins. “Hope you’re feeling better! I was gonna stop by, but I figured you were with your grumpy sidekick.”

“I’m not his  _ sidekick _ ,” Tsukki hisses into the phone. “Babycakes? What are you, 90?”

“He doesn’t complain about it when I’m balls deep-” Terushima is obviously grinning on his side. 

“Oh god,” Tsukki groans. “Stop.”

“Sorry I was ignoring you,” Yamaguchi interrupts them, aiming his words at Terushima. “I...I get…” He looks away, and Tsukki nods encouragingly (even though he’s scowling). “I get um...depressed? I have depression. I get...there are worse days. Today and the end of yesterday was just a worse day.” 

“That’s alright, honey bunches,” Terushima tells him confidently. “You’re still hot, and funny, and I still think you’re the bee’s knees,” 

“You’re just saying stupid shit on purpose to bother me!” Tsukki accuses. “Was harassing me in front of my workplace not enough for you? I’m going to rip your stupid tongue piercing out of your-”

“You don’t mind?” Yamaguchi ignores Tsukki who sputters out indignantly. “Really? Yuuji, be serious.” 

“I’m being 100% serious,” Terushima promises, voice intense. “I really like you, ‘Dashi. Promise. And I can help you! I’ll cuddle you when you’re sad, and tell you how pretty you are. I’ll even be nice to your whipped friend!”

“I’m not  _ whipped _ !” Tsukki’s scowl deepened. “Yamaguchi! Tell him to stop!”

“Absolutely not,” Yamaguchi hushes him, “Can you...can you come over? I just… really want to cuddle. Tsukki never lets me cuddle him. He only lets  _ Bokuto _ and  _ Kuroo _ and  _ Akaashi _ -”

“I am unappreciated,” Tsukki grumbles. He turns around, rolling out of Yamaguchi’s bed and brushing himself off. “Well, if you’re inviting dick vacuum over than I will be leaving-”

“Nope! You’re staying and bonding with him, Kei!” Yamaguchi grins along with Terushima’s laughter on the other line. “C’mon, they can last one night without you! You should sleep over here too!” 

“I’m not sleeping here, and I wasn’t going to go be with them,” Tsukki scowls. “I’ll stay. Only if we order something to eat, and you finish it.” Yamaguchi nods, not paying attention as he says something to Terushima through the phone. While Tadashi is distracted, he manages to sneak in a look at his texts. 

Koutarou Bokuto: with TONGUE tsukki :(

Koutarou Bokuto: not fair!!!! Me next!!!!

Tetsurou Kuroo: I hope you know CPR

Tetsurou Kuroo: Because you took my breath away ;D

Tetsurou Kuroo: more kisses! I need more before the others catch up

Tetsurou Kuroo: Plus, Bo got to see you sleeping, so…

Tetsurou Kuroo: Come here and cuddle with me!

Keiji Akaashi: Can I call you, Kei?

Keiji Akaashi: I am a little disappointed everyone got their own time with you

Keiji Akaashi: Can we call tonight?

Kei Tsukishima: yeah, I’d like to talk...I am staying at Yamaguchi’s tonight 

Kei Tsukishima: I don’t really like sleeping over at other places 

Keiji Akaashi: Ah, I see

Keiji Akaashi: I’d be glad to keep you company if you’d let me 

Kei Tsukishima: I can ask Yamaguchi if you can come over? 

Keiji Akaashi: If that’s ok with you, even better

“Hey Yama?” Tsukki muttered, looking at the ground with a light blush. “Um...can Akaashi come over? After dinner? Or now? Whenever...while you’re with Terushima. Or we can all hang out together-”

“God, you’re the cutest, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi squeals. “Yes! Akaashi is my favorite of your harem!” Yamaguchi giggles at whatever Terushima replies with. Tsukki is about to comment on how he doesn’t have a harem, and he doesn’t know the rules of whatever he has going on, but he’s definitely  _ not  _ supposed to have a favorite. He figures that’ll end in more teasing though. 

“Ok, whatever, you’re the worst,” Tsukki rolls his eyes, still flushing. He really had to work on not getting so embarrassed. 

Kei Tsukishima: He said yes

Keiji Akaashi: Amazing 

Keiji Akaashi: I’m on my way, love

Tsukki choked on the water he was sipping at the pet name, running to get the door when he heard knocking. What would he order for them? He needs to stop getting takeout...would Akaashi like him? What if Akaashi realized that Tsukki was annoying? Or awkward? What if he- “Blondie, can you open the door...?” Oh! Right! 

“Alright, I’m coming. Relax,” Tsukki muttered, he opens the door and Terushima has a bag of food. Oh, thank god. Tsukishima could not imagine making a decision right now. 

“I brought takeout for four!” Terushima cheers, pushing past Tsukki and towards Yamaguchi’s bedroom. “I’m here for you, sugar tits!” Tsukki groaned, hitting his head against the door. If Yamaguchi wasn’t dating him, Tsukki would never speak to the dumbass. He took a deep breath and steeled himself for time alone with the two of them. Maybe he could hide in the living room on Yamaguchi’s couch…

“Tsukki, if you don’t hang out with us, we’re having loud sex-”

“Please don’t,” Tsukki shouted back, scrambling into Yamaguchi’s room again where they were  _ all over each other _ , dear god. “If you were going to have sex anyways, why did you invite me in?”

“This is called cuddling, you virgin,” Terushima sighs, mocking disappointment. “So young...so inexperienced…” 

“Isn’t it sad, Yuuji?” Yamaguchi teases, leaning further into his boyfriend dramatically. “Poor boy. It’s a tragedy.” Tsukki buried his face in his hands. He kept repeating in his head that this was for Yamaguchi and that Tadashi had been so depressed earlier. Even if the teasing was at his expense, it was much better this way. “When’s Akaashi getting here?”

“Is that the pretty one, the one with the bedroom eyes, or the muscley guy?” Terushima asks, searching through the food he brought over. 

“The pretty one,” Tsukki answers without thinking about it. “Not that I think he’s pretty or anything! I mean, from an unbiased standpoint, he’s very attractive.”

“Real smooth,” Terushima hands Yamaguchi a container with some type of Chinese food. 

“He should be here soon,” Tsukki takes his own container gratefully. “Then I can leave you alone to do...whatever.”

“Should we give him the talk, baby?” Yamaguchi asks, mouth full of rice. Akaashi, saving his life, knocked on the door before Terushima could pull out something to draw with. Tsukishima booked it to Yamaguchi’s front door, hesitating because  _ oh god, he didn’t check how he looked. He hasn’t prepared any conversation topics. Akaashi was going to hate him because Akaashi was so calm and collected and _ \- “Kei, stop freaking out and open the door!”

Tsukki takes a deep breath and unlocks the door. He knew Akaashi was beautiful, but up close face-to-face, he was something ethereal. His eyes were so blue...was that even natural? Tsukki could stare forever. But he should really stop staring. He’ll stop in a second. He will. “Are you going to let me in?” Tsukishima blushed quickly, clearing his throat and moving to the side. 

“That was cute,” Terushima says from behind him. Akaashi shoots Terushima an unimpressed look which shuts him up, and Tsukki is ready to kiss him right then and there. 

“He is right. You are very cute,” Akaashi assures him, stepping inside and brushing his hand on top of Tsukki’s. Tsukki sputters out a thank you and follows Akaashi like a puppy, sitting next to him on the couch. “I left Bokuto and Kuroo by themselves for dinner. It’s only fair, considering they went out of their way to get time alone with you and didn’t tell me.” Tsukki laughs, hiding his mouth in his hand - he always hated how he looked when he smiled. Akaashi raised an eyebrow, pulling his arm away from his face. “No hiding.”

“He’s my favorite,” Yamaguchi declares, having watched the whole encounter. His eyes looked softer than before, but he’s still smirking. Little devil. 

“Babe, aren’t I your favorite?” Terushima whines, trailing after him as they go towards the bedroom again. 

“As if you could ever be as smooth as Akaashi just was!” Tadashi giggles, and the door closes behind them. They had left behind their food on the living room table, and Tsukki looked at the offerings suspiciously. 

“I am not positive what Yamaguchi’s pet got us,” Tsukki mutters. “It’s Chinese takeout. Is that ok? We can go somewhere else?” 

“No, it’s perfect,” Akaashi assures him. They split up the food equally, and Tsukki munches quietly, sipping from a water cup. Akaashi starts to tell him about his job - how he loves classical literature and wishes he was a writer. He settled for advertising to make his parents happy, which paid well and was steady work, but his real passion was with novels. He told Tsukki all about his favorite books and plays, how he loved Shakespeare but thought Dickens was overrated. Tsukki could listen to Akaashi talk for hours, but eventually, his voice went down and the food was done. Akaashi looked at him with an unreadable expression, sitting comfortably close on the couch. “Tell me about you.”

Tsukki bit his lip nervously, immediately picking at the skin under his nails. “I um...I went to college. I told you guys that. Wasn’t really…” He hesitates. Should he lie? Tell the story he always told, about how he didn’t like it? He sighed. No, this was ok. There was nothing wrong with what happened to him. “I had a really hard time in class. I’m nervous all the time, and it was too much at once. So I stopped going. I was supposed to study archeology though, with a focus in geologic fossil records.” 

“Dinosaurs?” Akaashi is smiling, his voice soft and encouraging. It puts Tsukki at ease. 

“Dinosaurs,” Tsukki agrees, staring up at the ceiling. “The past is interesting. I think it’s fascinating how we can read so much from the rock record.” He tried to contain his excitement talking about it, but truthfully he was still caught up on the research. 

“You,” Akaashi starts, and Tsukki expects an insult or teasing or something. “Are the most adorable and intelligent person I’ve met in a very long time, Kei.” Tsukki’s eyes widen, and he averts his gaze to the floor. He must be bright red, painfully so. 

“Touch makes me anxious!” Tsukki blurts out, immediately wincing at his own statement. “I mean...just...I’m not good at initiating it. I’m awkward about it. You probably would hate me if you-”

“It would be very difficult for me to hate you,” Akaashi interrupts patiently, he puts a hand on Tsukki’s arm, waiting for an affirmative head nod before pulling him in for a soft hug. “I can go as slow as you need. I understand, I used to have touch aversion issues as well. I still have difficulty with physical intimacy, but I am patient.”

“Ok,” Tsukki agrees, voice small as he presses his face against Akaashi’s shoulder. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Akaashi scolds him, pushing Kei’s hair back so that he could see his eyes. His lips ghost over Tsukki’s cheeks. “Never apologize for setting boundaries. Could I kiss you?” Tsukki nods breathlessly, melting into the contact as if he was starved for it. Which, maybe he was. 

“Bokuto said something similar,” Tsukki whispers against Akaashi’s lips, interrupted as Akaashi presses another soft kiss against him. 

“Then he does listen,” Akaashi murmurs, rubbing a thumb over Tsukki’s cheek. “Was that alright?” 

“More than alright,” Tsukki responds, pulling away slightly pink. “I um...I think the asking helps a lot. It lets me prepare myself.”

“Then we’ll ask,” Akaashi tells him, stretching and turning towards Yamaguchi’s bedroom. “We should all get to know each other, what do you think?” 

  
“I think-!” Yamaguchi starts, falling out from the other room (he was fucking  _ spying _ !) “That is a great idea!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooo it is akaashi's turn! hehe i love these boys! hope you like some yamaguchi centered help and some akaashi and tsukki romance! as always, leave a comment and kudos if you desire, they give me serotonin <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: panic attack, dissociative episode, mention of intrusive thoughts, some mean words

“Can you stop fucking snooping?” Tsukki grumbles. “I don’t need a babysitter.” 

“It was Terushima’s idea,” Yamaguchi chirps, settling down on the couch next to Tsukki, making him jump. 

“No! It was not - Tsukki, I swear-” Terushima quickly scrambles towards his boyfriend, as if Tsukki was going to punch him. Which he might, he’s considering it. “Stop messing with me, babe.” 

“Alright, alright,” Yamaguchi rolls his eyes, as Terushima climbs into his lap. Akaashi is staring at them with muted amusement, and Tsukishima resists the urge to apologize profusely. “So, Akaashi! What do you do for work?” Tsukki smacks himself in the forehead. They had  _ just  _ talked about this. 

“I’m in advertising,” Akaashi tells him, voice flowing smoothly. He seems far more guarded than he just was, and Tsukki bristles at the thought that he had gotten Akaashi’s trust. If they were dating, then he guessed it made sense. It was a bit overwhelming though. “What do you do?” He asks Terushima. Tsukki wonders momentarily if Kuroo told Akaashi about him already - if that’s why he was so protective. 

“I work in fashion,” Terushima tells him, shy (for the first time Tsukki had ever seen). Akaashi was intense when he wanted to be. “Right now, I’m just an assistant at the magazine I work for. I follow around designers and email people for them and do grunt work. I want to be a designer on my own though!” Terushima spoke about fashion differently than he did other things. He wasn’t a serious person, but he was serious about fashion, it seemed. 

“What type of fashion do you prefer?” Akaashi asks, interest mildly piqued. They start talking - it turns out, Akaashi had written some brief fashion show reviews for a local magazine and knew somewhat what Terushima was talking about. Yamaguchi’s eyes glowed, a smile overtaking his face as he wiggled his eyebrows at Tsukki suggestively. Tsukki rolled his eyes in response, flushing when Akaashi took his hand to rub his wrist reassuringly. Tsukishima is comfortable letting Akaashi carry the conversation. Kei wasn’t super talkative to begin with, but he was especially not when he was around such loud extroverts. Hinata at the spa had simply accepted it and knew to leave Kei alone when he was getting particularly mean. 

It was getting kind of late, and the conversation had dwindled down to Yamaguchi and Terushima teasing each other with an old movie playing in the background. Tsukki yawned, stretching as Akaashi leaned his head onto Kei’s shoulder. “You two getting tired?” Yamaguchi grinned, and Tsukki rolled his eyes at the tone. “Tsukki goes to bed super early like some kind of old man.” 

“That’s impossible on weekends,” Akaashi answers, sitting up. “Kuroo and Bokuto stay up all night fooling around.” Tsukki snorts, imagining the scenario in his head. “I would be alright going to bed now though, Kei.”

“You guys can have the guest bedroom,” Yamaguchi pointed in the direction of his extra bed, and Tsukki nodded as he stood up. “Don’t have  _ too  _ much fun.”

“Shut up, Tadashi,” Tsukki snapped. He was cranky, but Akaashi also looked mildly uncomfortable (a lot of expression on his normally blank face). “Don’t make those kinds of jokes until you know someone.”

“Sorry, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi snickered, but he didn’t seem sorry. In fact, he kinda seemed off. His features tightened, but Tsukki thought it might be remnants of his depressive episode so he ignored it for the time being. He’d ask later. Tsukki and Akaashi made their way to the spare room and closed the door softly behind them. 

“I’m sorry, if that made you uncomfortable,” Tsukki immediately says. “I’ll let him know not to say those things again. He’s ridiculous...I’m really sorry-”

“It’s alright,” Akaashi assures him. “He couldn’t know. I would appreciate it though, if you told him to avoid those topics in the future.”

“Of course,” Tsukki grabs at the back of his neck, sinking into an awkward silence. He felt choked up - he barely even...the thought of touching made his skin crawl normally. Tadashi  _ knew  _ that. He wasn’t ready to consider anything sexual, and Akaashi seemed so uncomfortable with the dumb side comment. He was so stupid - he shouldn’t have brought Akaashi here. He was going to ruin this whole thing-

“It’s really ok,” Akaashi murmurs. “I promise.” Tsukki stares at the floor, biting his inner lip, trying to control his breathing. The littlest things set him off, and then his stupid head started to convince him that it was because of the room. ‘The room was unsafe. It was why Akaashi was upset. They had to get out of the room,’ his brain repeated over and over like a mantra.

“We have to get out of this room,” Tsukki verbalizes out loud, voice small. “We should get out right now, it could be unsafe-”

“The room is perfectly fine,” Akaashi says slowly. “You should breathe slower. Can you breathe with me?”

“The room,” Tsukki repeats, stuttering. His chest was tight, he was  _ dying _ . “The air in here is poison, I can’t breathe-” 

“You’re ok,” Akaashi tells him. “Should I go get Yamaguchi?” 

“No! No, don’t leave!” Tsukki stumbles towards the door. “We should just get out-” 

“Alright, we can leave. But the room is ok. We’ll get some air and then come back,” Akaashi’s voice is sweet and soothing. “Can I touch you?” Tsukki shook his head. “That’s fine. Come on, the door is open.”

Tsukki rushed out of the area and breathed in deeply. His head was still swarming with the intrusive thoughts of Yamaguchi’s guest room being the root of his issues. He hated this side of his anxiety - it was so illogical, so fucking  _ stupid _ . He always had these attacks and then spiraled out of control about how weak they made him feel. Tadashi and Terushima were still on the couch outside, and when Tsukki tripped towards him, Yamaguchi’s gaze immediately narrowed. He stood up, making his way towards him. “Color?” 

“Yellow, the  _ room _ -” Tsukki started. 

“Ok. Where are your meds?” Yamaguchi immediately started rifling through Kei’s backpack. “You two, go to my room and don’t leave until I say so,” He commanded. Terushima and Akaashi moved towards his bedroom and shut the door. “Alright. Take two pills, deep breaths, c’mon Kei.”

“Sorry,” Tsukki choked out, tears streaming down his face. “Sorry, I’m so stupid. Sorry, I’m-”

“Stop that,” Yamaguchi scolds him. “You’re not any of that. What happened?”

“The...the room made Akaashi upset and then the air was wrong. The air was bad, so I couldn’t breathe.” Tsukki wiped at his eyes. “I can’t go back there, Yama.”

“The guest room?” Yamaguchi asks. Tsukki nods miserably. “Ok, let’s go talk to Akaashi about it-”

“No!” Tsukki grabbed Yamaguchi’s hand, wincing at the touch. The medication was kicking in, forcing his body to calm down. “No, I don’t want to upset him more.”

“Kei,” Yamaguchi says softly. “You need to talk this through with him.”

“I can’t. I can’t do this. This was a mistake, I’m messing everything up-” Tsukki starts to say. His voice is so shaky, and Yamaguchi glares at him. He seems angrier than normal, obviously he didn’t like to hear his friend get upset but he seems pissed.

“Nope. Absolutely not.” Yamaguchi opens the door to his bedroom. “We don’t talk like that. You know better than to let self-deprecation get to you.”

“Tadashi, please don’t-!” 

“Akaashi, was the room what made you upset?” Yamaguchi ignores Kei’s pleas.

“No,” Akaashi says bluntly. He moves closer to Kei, obviously wanting to comfort him. “It was the side comment you made about sex.”

“Yamaguchi,  _ stop _ !” Tsukki begs, tugging at his arm. 

“I’m sorry,” Tadashi says honestly. “I didn’t think that through. I didn’t mean any harm by it.”

“It’s alright,” Akaashi smiles, eyes honest. “It was a mistake. You are completely forgiven.” 

“The room had nothing to do with it, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi insists. “See? Now go back in the guest room.” This was happening way too fast, and Kei had to struggle to maintain himself. 

“Absolutely not,” Tsukki gulped, trying to pry Yamaguchi’s hand off his arm. Why was Tadashi being so pushy right now? This was getting to be too much, and he was going to have a full meltdown. “Tadashi, stop. This isn’t funny! Stop! I’m serious-”

“Yamaguchi, I think we should take a break before we move forward,” Akaashi interrupts. Tadashi was being too aggressive, and Tsukki couldn’t understand why! What did Tsukki do wrong? Was he mad at him? 

“We can’t coddle him when he gets afraid of things,” Tadashi explains. “It’s part of his therapy.” Tadashi continues to move towards the door and the intensity of the situation only furthers his panic. 

“Let me go, Yamaguchi,” Tsukki insists. Tears are gathering at his eyes again - he’s so embarrassed he might die, was he really crying again? He was definitely going to pass out. Yamaguchi was holding on so tightly too, it hurt. What was going on? 

“Babe, c’mon, let’s relax here for a second, you’re obviously upset about something unrelated to him, so let’s all just talk about it before we do anything rash, yeah?” Terushima tries to interject. Oh, he was upset. Tsukki probably was responsible for that. 

“You are being very aggressive,” Akaashi’s voice seems dangerous, even though he isn’t showing too much emotion. “I think you should let him go, and we should relax and recuperate before we make a mistake.”

“It’s always got to be about you, doesn’t it?” Yamaguchi says, teeth clenched. “Today,  _ I  _ was supposed to be sad! But your mental health always takes precedence over whatever I’m going through. You were too anxious to be alone with me and my boyfriend, too anxious to sleep over here alone, too anxious to miss work for me-”

“You...you hate it when I miss work for you-” Tsukki offers, more shocked than upset. “I’m sorry, I didn’t-” 

“Yeah, well I’m sick of you being sorry,” Yamaguchi tells him. He shoves Kei forwards, in front of the door to the guest bedroom. “Either go in there, or get out of my house and don’t talk to me.” Tsukishima tries very very hard to hold onto himself - he had been trying the whole time. At that point though, his head can’t keep up with all the anxiety his body is feeling. He isn’t sure quite what happens, but he feels his body lower defensively into a curl, grabbing at his hair tightly. 

He comes in and out throughout a period of time that confuses him. He hears yelling, someone shakes him a lot, but he’s not entirely there. This was the worst of his panic symptoms, dissociation. Nothing that was happening to him felt like it was happening to him. It comes through muffled and indistinct. His hands, he’s not sure when he stopped feeling them, but someone is pulling them out of his hair as gently as possible. “You’re alright, love,” he hears. It’s still muffled though. “It’s ok. Maybe we should head back to your apartment tonight? Can you hear me?” Kei doesn’t answer because he’s not really sure if he can or not. His brain feels mushy, like the words are getting caught in a thick soup. “Can you hear me, darling? It’s alright if you don’t answer verbally.” 

He thinks someone is crying nearby, apologizing. Everything is happening slower than it must be in real life. He’s tired. “Let’s maybe move to a bed?” Someone says, “We can lift him together.”

“That’s a good idea,” The same voice from before murmurs. “We’re going to move you, Kei.” The voice is soft and sugary. He very much appreciates it. The feeling of warmth spreads on his arms and legs, and he falls back onto a much softer surface than before. “Alright, why don’t you uncurl for me, sweetheart? You’ll be much more comfortable.” The voice offers him solace from whatever is happening - it certainly feels like the world is ending. His eyes blink (and he starts to realize, they are 100% his eyes). “That’s it. You’re doing wonderfully, come back to us.” A hand strokes through his blond hair, and he leans into it. He blinks again, multiple times in a row. 

“I’m sorry,” He hears from nearby. “I’m so so sorry. Why did I say that? I’m sorry. I’m just tired and I was upset and frustrated. I didn’t mean it Tsukki, I’m so sorry-”

“Can you hear me, love?” Akaashi, that was the voice, asked him gently. Tsukki nods, moving his hand to rub at his eyes. Both of them are intertwined with Akaashi’s though. “Are you feeling a bit better?”

“Much,” Tsukki murmurs. His voice is gravelly and he looks around. They were in Yamaguchi’s bedroom now. Terushima was holding Tadashi close, whispering softly as Tadashi sobbed into his chest. “What...um...I don’t remember.”

“That’s alright,” Akaashi tells him, continuing to pet his head. “You dissociated. Kuroo also suffers from attacks like that, so with my knowledge from those we managed to help you out of it. I’m proud of how you pulled yourself through.” Tsukki nodded, frowning at Yamaguchi. 

“I’m sorry, Yamaguchi,” he decides to say. “I didn’t know I was upsetting you, I can work on-”

“How are you apologizing?!” Yamaguchi is still sobbing hard. “I...I made you...I was so scared. I kept shaking you and you wouldn’t look at me or talk and I...I’m so sorry, Kei. You’re my best friend, I’m just...I’m so tired and-”

“It’s ok, Tadashi,” Tsukki was uncomfortable with this conversation in front of the others. “We’ll talk later, ok? I’m not mad. We can set better boundaries or whatever...you’re still my best friend too...stop crying, it’s embarrassing-” 

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi ran towards him and tackled him into a hug. “I’m sorry! I missed you! Let’s make up right now and eat lots of ice cream and-”

“No, we’re going to  _ bed _ ,” Terushima rolls his eyes. “Me and Yamaguchi will take the other room.”

“I can go in the-” Tsukki started to argue. Akaashi raised an eyebrow at him, and he was silent. Maybe next time. “Fine! But I’m buying you dinner!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all! sorry for the angst, but yamaguchi is very capable of messing up and honestly had the right to be fed up! it's ooc, it always is. hope you enjoyed! next week they'll talk it out and cuddle don't worry <3 
> 
> leave comments and kudos! i love them dearly


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mention of sexual assault

“Are you sure you don’t want to go back to your apartment?” Akaashi asks, frowning. Tsukishima nods confidently, sitting himself on Yamaguchi’s bed. 

“I could have gone into the other room,” Tsukki argues. He doesn’t know if he could, but he wants to put up a front. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Even if you could,” Akaashi starts, sitting on the edge of Yamaguchi’s bed. “I think we’re all just exhausted. It might be best for us to figure it out in the morning. Although, I’m sure it hurts for you to think we don’t believe in you.”

“I don’t care about that,” Tsukki pushes, scowling and undoing Yamaguchi’s covers. “I don’t. It’s fine either way. I’m just…” He wanted to say ‘I’m just trying not to run out of Yamaguchi’s house and then stay in my apartment for the next two weeks out of fear of messing up this bad again.’ Instead, Tsukki trails off, looking up at the ceiling of Yamaguchi’s room. He had a lot on his mind - his therapist always said it was good to try and pinpoint what he was feeling, but Tsukki was so tired and upset, and it hurt to acknowledge what that meant. He had this fear of being too much, of being a constant burden to the people around him. It wasn’t fair, that he had this stupid anxiety disorder and this stupid panic disorder. He didn’t want to be like this anymore - he hated it and himself and he wanted to go home and never leave his bed again. 

“Tsukishima? Kei?” Akaashi shot him a concerned look, frowning. He must have zoned out - he was really out of it. Especially because he had just dissociated really terribly. 

“Sorry,” Tsukki murmured, rubbing at his eyes. “I’m really tired.” 

“Do you want to talk about it? Or maybe we can Skype Bokuto and Kuroo?” Akaashi offers, climbing into the bed next to Tsukki and maintaining distance. 

  
“No,” Kei answers easily. “I want you.” He closes his eyes, head against the pillow. Realizing what he said, his eyes snap open. “I meant-! I just...I don’t mean…” 

“It’s alright,” Akaashi promises him, smirking. “You’re very cute, when you let your guard down.” 

“I’m not always cute?” Tsukki asks, turning to face him, scowl evident. They were pretty close to each other, face-to-face on the bed. 

“I didn’t say that,” Akaashi murmurs, he reaches a hand forward and strokes back Tsukki’s hair gently. “Can I touch you?” Tsukki nods, leaning into the touch with a sigh. They lay in silence for a while, and Akaashi scootches closer to him, nuzzling into Tsukki’s chest. Hesitantly, Tsukki wrapped his arms around Akaashi’s back. Normally, Kei didn’t like to be the big spoon that much. He was tall and lanky and his limbs felt really awkward wrapped around other people. He didn’t like touching in general, as most people knew. Somehow though, holding Akaashi made him feel really good. For once, it felt like he was helping someone else and he let his body relax into the position.

“Why don’t you want people to know how sweet you are?” Akaashi whispered against Kei’s collarbone. Kei hummed a response, frowning. 

“I’m not,” Kei slurred back, squeezing tighter. “I’m mean.” It seemed too simple of an answer, but that’s all he could manage. His brain felt completely wrung out - he was too tired to keep up any facade he normally had, and he was so fucking sad that he let himself fall apart in front of other people. 

“You’d like others to think that, I’m sure,” Akaashi’s voice tickles the skin between Kei’s shirt and his neck. “But you’re very kind. I like watching you interact with the people you care about. I think you’re so beautiful, Kei.”

“Stop,” Tsukki breathed out. 

“No,” Akaashi responds simply, pushing back so he can make eye contact in the dark room. “I’m sorry what happened today happened. I know you’re upset - when we first met, I noticed that you blink more when you’re sad so you don’t cry. I won’t judge you, if you want to.” 

“I’m not gonna sit here and cry on you, Keiji,” Tsukki deadpanned, he rubbed at his face but it did nothing to ease the feeling of tears prickling at the corner of his eyes. God damn it! 

“I’m just saying you could,” Akaashi moves so that he can press Kei’s face into his chest. It feels silly because Tsukki is bigger than Akaashi and the whole thing feels dumb, if Kei is honest with himself. “If I had to cry, you’d hold me too, right?”

“Well, yeah, but you didn’t have a breakdown because of a stupid room,” Tsukki retorts, breathing out shakily. 

“I’ve had breakdowns from less before,” Keiji says, twirling his fingers through Tsukki’s blonde hair. 

“I’m sure you’re just saying that,” Tsukki muttered into Keiji’s chest, sniffling. Stupid brain and stupid tears. His shoulders shook with the effort of controlling his sobs. Akaashi rubbed circles into the top of his back with long fingers. 

“No,” Akaashi says. He pauses before continuing, and the only sound in the room is Kei’s pathetic sniffles and Akaashi’s breathing. “I was sexually assaulted before I met Bokuto and Kuroo. They were already dating when I came along, but I was terrified of everyone. I used to cry every time a man touched me by accident. If something reminded me of it, even just a little bit, I’d have a full meltdown wherever I was.” Tsukki froze. Oh god, he was so selfish. Nothing even happened to him and he was- “You are not allowed to feel guilty for also having issues, Kei.” Akaashi scolds him, he breathes in the scent of Yamaguchi and Akaashi as an attempt to ground himself. “I’m trying to say that I understand. We will be patient with you, if you’ll let us.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” Kei finally decided on. “And thank you, for telling me.” 

“I think you underestimate how much I like you...how much we all like you…” Akaashi trails off. “It’s alright to have trauma. It’s ok to need help. You and Yamaguchi will discuss what went wrong and do better next time. Do you understand what I’m getting at?” 

“No,” Tsukki answers, voice cracking. “I hate it, and I hate being like this, and I don’t want to have to deal with it anymore-” He felt really childish, but he was losing it. He felt like he had been simply existing for so long. He let himself get sucked into avoidance and repeat. He felt disgusted with himself - how could he let himself be in other people’s lives? How could he do this to Akaashi and Bokuto and Kuroo? How could he continue to disappoint those around him. 

“I know,” Akaashi pulls him in tighter, if possible, and pets his head as if he’s a child. “I know, but it will get better. And we’ll help you. You are very worth the trouble, love.” 

“I can’t do that to you,” Tsukki responded. “I can’t. It’s not fair. You deserve someone who is better than this.”

“Well, I want you,” Akaashi tips Kei’s face up to his own. He probably looks gross, nose dripping and eyes puffy. Akaashi presses a soft kiss to his lips and another and another until he feels like he’s drowning. “You can’t tell me what I deserve. You are a gift.” 

“Sorry,” Tsukki finally calmed down, breathing evening out. He felt a lot better after crying his eyes out and explaining himself. He was scared about losing the people he had found, but for the first time in awhile, he was excited about what could happen next. He wanted to wake up next to Akaashi all the time and let Bokuto hold his hand and kiss Kuroo in a parking lot. He was  _ excited _ . It was bizarre, and very very welcomed. 

“Don’t be sorry,” Akaashi cuddles close to him, sighing happily. He hands Kei a tissue, and watches as he blows his nose and then wipes his eyes off. “You really are cute. Bokuto said you made an even cuter sleeper - I am excited to see if that’s true.” 

“He’s exaggerating,” Tsukki muttered, but he lets Akaashi tug him back into their original position. It’s comfortable, and his exhaustion has faded from emotional exhaustion to simple tiredness. He could sleep forever. He might just. 

“Goodnight Kei,” Keiji whispers. 

\---

Tsukki wakes up to the smell of vanilla and cinnamon, and someone running lines over his arms. He moves closer to the source, puffing out a sigh and scrunching his nose. “We have to get up soon, lovely.” 

“Don’t want to,” Tsukki mumbled back, burying his face into someone’s chest. It was very comfortable. “Five more minutes.”

“I am afraid Yamaguchi will burst in through the door if we don’t wake up,” The voice laughs lightly, pushing back his bangs and pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

“Tell him to wait,” Kei frowns, opening his eyes and rubbing at them. Where was he again? Oh yeah, Yamaguchi’s bed. Next to Akaashi. Oh god. Wait...did that just happen? He turned red, about to explain that he was just kidding and wasn’t actually like that and…

“Koutarou was right, you are the cutest sleeper I have ever seen,” Akaashi teases, sitting up and stretching. “You should get the door before Yamaguchi breaks it down.” 

Tsukki groaned, moving towards the door and glaring at his friend on the other end. “I made pancakes!” He cheered, dragging Tsukki towards the kitchen. “They’re strawberry! Tertushima helped...he’s actually really good at cooking! And I made you coffee! And-”

“Tadashi,” Tsukki interrupted. “Stop. It’s really ok. Shit happens. You don’t need to make up for it with...whatever this is.” 

“...you’ll still eat the pancakes though, right?” Yamaguchi gives him a shy look and Tsukki sighs. 

“Yes, I will gratefully eat them. Thank you.” Yamaguchi’s smile made it worth it. Akaashi peeked out of their shared room, handing Tsukki his glasses and pressing a kiss to Tsukki’s cheek. “...but we still have to talk about what happened…” Tsukki clears his throat, and Yamaguchi nods aggressively. Akaashi seems proud of him, eyes lighting up momentarily when he poured his coffee. 

“I know, I know!” Yamaguchi assures him. “I love you lots, Tsukki! And I am really really sorry...I didn’t mean to snap at you...Terushima and I talked about it too...he’s really sweet, I promise!” 

“He better be,” Tsukki glares at the back of said-boyfriend’s head. Terushima is sitting on the couch, flipping through the channel. 

“Thank you for letting me stay over,” Akaashi says, smiling politely. “I very much appreciate it.”

“Of course! As my favorite member of Tsukishima’s harem-”

“Ta _ dashi _ !” Tsukki’s blush returns. 

“You are always welcome over!” Tadashi ignores him, and watches as the two of their significant others sit down on the couch for a conversation. “I am really super sorry, Tsukki.” 

“It’s alright, I promise,” Tsukki assures him. “We can figure out boundaries. Maybe, if I’m pushing on you too much, you can let me know. We can have a night where we just hang out. Or you can say you need some only-you time. Or we can just figure it out. But you have to promise to communicate to me before it gets that bad again, Tadashi.”

“Alright, I will!” Yamaguchi’s eyes are all sparkly again, back to his normal chipper self. “Thanks for being so good to me, Kei.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tsukki smiles briefly. “You deserve it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! hope you enjoyed! have a little stab at akaashi's story and some soft boy times! until next time! as always, i love kudos and comments hehe


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit the last chapter oh god here we go

Tsukki’s life began to return to some semblance of normalcy - whatever that could really mean with him anyways. He went back to work at the spa. Sometimes, he went to his apartment. Sometimes, he went to Yamaguchi’s house, spending time with him and his new boyfriend (begrudgingly). Sometimes, he let himself be dragged around by Bokuto or Kuroo or Akaashi and spend the night. It was good, in a terrifying sort of way. He wasn’t quite happy, not well enough to let himself be anyways, but he was definitely getting there. 

So that’s how he found himself scrolling through online college classes on his laptop, biting his bottom lip and analyzing the programs he would apply to. Kuroo was over at his apartment while Akaashi traveled for business, and Bokuto spent time at his family’s house in a different country. “What’re you up to, baby?”

“Nothing,” Kei answered easily, shoving Tetsurou away from him. Kuroo laughed loudly, laying down on top of him anyways. “Get off, freak.”

“I’m  _ your _ freak,” Kuroo nuzzled into Kei’s waist, “and you looove me.”

“Think what you want,” Kei muttered. “I was...looking into maybe starting classes again.”

“What?!” Kuroo sat up quickly, hitting his forehead into his chin. “Oh shit, sorry babe.”

“Ow, watch it,” Kei hissed, rubbing at his chin with a pout. He was nervous to say something...what if he didn’t do well and had to stop again? But he was, more than anything, excited. He did really love learning, even if the process of college was hard for him. 

“You’re starting class again? That’s great, baby! I’m so proud of you!” Kuroo ignored him, straddling his lap and pressing kisses all over his face.

“ _ Stop _ , Kuroo. You’re embarrassing me!” Tsukki scowled, but he was red from the attention. “It’s not a big deal.”

“It’s a huge deal, moonshine!” Kuroo argued, pressing a finger into Tsukki’s chest and pushing him back. “My little scholar!”

“I’m taller than you,” Tsukki reminded him. “And I’m not a scholar, it’s just some classes.”

“We should tell Bo and Akaashi,” Kuroo pulled out his phone, adjusting so that he was sitting front-facing on Tsukki’s lap. 

“Stop squirming,” Tsukki scowled, but he wrapped his arms around Kuroo’s waist. He had grown to kind of like attention from his three boyfriends. He had grown a lot in general actually. Even Akiteru said he seemed happier. “They’re busy, it’s fine if they can’t call right now.”

“They already picked up,” Kuroo ignored him, leaning back against Kei’s chest. “Hey babes.”

“I just got a break, so this is the perfect time to call,” Akaashi tells him. 

“You can call me any time!” Bokuto cheers, smiling into the phone. “Didya miss me?”

“Bro...you know I missed you,” Kuroo laments, blinking into the screen dramatically. 

“Please don’t start this,” Tsukki groaned. 

“You’re my world bro…” Bokuto continues anyway. Kuroo laughs, peeking up at Tsukki’s grimace and poking at his side. Tsukki swats his hand away. 

“So I was hanging around my favorite masseuse’s apartment-” Kuroo started, even though Tsukki rolled his eyes and tried to take the phone. “And I seduced him into telling me that he was signing up for  _ classes _ next semester!” 

“You didn’t seduce me,” Tsukki corrected. “You hit me in the face and then spread your gross bedhead germs all over my face.”

“Sounds like you were seduced to me,” Bokuto hums appreciatively. “Considering he got past the whole ‘grr, I hate telling my boyfriends information about me’ exterior.” Bokuto pressed his hair down, voice entering a higher up version of his own. Was that supposed to be him? Kei was almost offended. 

“That’s great, Kei,” Akaashi’s smile makes it worth it. “I’m so proud of you. You know, you might need to save money if you’re spending on classes.”

“I have plenty of money,” Tsukki murmurs, pressing his forehead into Kuroo’s back to hide his blush. “Plus, my parents offered to pay for classes because they’re so excited - which is ridiculous.”

“Babe,” Kuroo interrupts. 

“I mean, there’s no reason to encourage college so much,” Tsukki continues. “It’s stupid to think that it’s something that you need to live-”

“Baby,” Kuroo presses. Tsukki stops, and Kuroo clambers off his lap to make eye contact. “Akaashi is asking you to move in with us.”

“I...what?” Tsukki’s eyes widen, adorably so, and Kuroo coos squeezing his cheeks together. 

“No fair! That was so cute,” Bokuto whines on the other end. “Kuroo, stop hogging him!” 

“I have to um...think about it?” Tsukki chokes out, burying his head in his hands. He was so painfully red. 

“No blush hiding!” Kuroo tugs at his hands, “Let me kiss those cheeks! C’mon Kei!”

“Leave me  _ alone _ !” Kei whines, but he let’s Kuroo pry his fingers away from his face and kiss him all over again. Tsukki holds back laughter. “You’re so lame. Get away, or I won’t cook you dinner.”

“I have to head back to work,” Akaashi tells them. His voice is layered with fondness. “I wish I was with you both, though. Think about it, alright Kei?” 

“I’ll leave now, too. But I come home later tonight! I’ll see you soon!” Bokuto tells them. Kuroo turns to face him again after hanging up, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“Move in with us, and wake up to my sexy face every morning,” Kuroo winks at him. 

“It’s not that I don’t want to move in with you all, it’s that...I don’t know. I feel like you’ll figure out you don’t like me anymore the more time we spend together,” Over the time they had been dating, Tsukki had gotten a lot better at explaining what he was feeling when he was nervous or upset. It had been the big result of his argument with Yamaguchi. 

“That’s stupid, Kei,” Kuroo tells him. “We  _ adore _ you. I need Tsukki cuddles every night, and I wanna wake you up with pancakes and I wanna see you off to work in the morning. It’s fine if you need more time, but not for a dumb reason.”

“Alright, alright,” Tsukki mutters. “Stop being cheesy.” 

\---

Kuroo got Tsukki to agree to sleep over that night, even though he had work the next morning which was a rare occurrence. He was encouraged by the fact that Bokuto was coming home and that he would get to see Akaashi in the morning. “I’m home!” Bokuto called from the entrance. “I need hugs and kisses and love.” Kuroo sprinted to greet him, and although Tsukki was pretty excited to see him, he’d much rather walk. He heard laughter, and a deep thud. “Hey babe! I missed you!” 

Kuroo laid on top of him, only moving when Tsukki peeked down at them with a bored expression. “Look who I convinced to stay over!”

“Aww, did you miss me, hot stuff?” Bokuto winked at him from the ground and Tsukki turned red, crossing his arms. 

“If you want a hug, you have to get up,” Tsukki ignored him, watching as Bokuto scrambled to his feet and easily grabbed him, spinning the blond around in a circle. Tsukki resisted the urge to laugh at the feeling, smiling and burying his face into the crook of Bokuto’s neck. “Welcome back.” Even if Tsukki was a lot better off, he still wasn’t the touchiest person on the planet. These acts of willing affection were rare, but loved all the same. “We’ll have to call Akaashi tonight, I’m sure he’ll be super sad without us.” 

“Or grateful,” Tsukki muttered as Bokuto put him down. Kuroo mocked offense, gasping dramatically and grabbing at his heart. 

“What’d you say, babe? You want me to tickle you?” Bokuto’s face broke out into a grin as Kuroo perked up. “Weird request, but who am I to deny you!” 

“Stop  _ chasing  _ me!” Tsukki hissed, booking it past them and into the living room, grabbing a pillow as cover. “Leave me alone! This isn’t fair!” Bokuto and Kuroo cornered him on the couch, turning him into a giggly pile on their cushions. They heard the front door open and Kei used the distraction to roll away from them, gasping for air. 

“Keiji?” Bokuto asked, peering past them to check their entrance way. “Keiji! You’re home early!” 

“I’m home early,” Akaashi agreed. Tsukki sighed in relief, thankful that their assault would stop and attention be diverted. Bokuto bounded over to him, kissing the top of his head and wrapping him in a soft hug. “I’m tired though. Can we go to bed early?” 

“Sounds good to me,” Kuroo hummed, giving Keiji his own welcome kiss. Keiji shot Kei an unimpressed look from where he was waiting on the ground. 

“Why haven’t you kissed me hello?” Akaashi teases him. 

“I was attacked,” Kei explains, sitting up and brushing himself off with a scowl. “I’m mortally wounded.”

“Just before you were about to move in too, what a shame,” Akaashi smiles as he leans down and pecks Kei on the lips. “Hello, love. Are you sleeping over?” Kei nods his affirmation, watching as Bokuto starts wrestling Kuroo on the carpet. He sighed, rolling his eyes and following Akaashi up the stairs. 

“How was your trip?” Kei asks, swinging his legs back and forth when he sits on the bed. 

“It was fine, informative. The usual.” Akaashi changes from his work clothes into loungewear. “Do you know what classes you’d take?”

“I have to sign up for the intro levels again,” Tsukki mutters, scrolling through his phone as Akaashi falls back onto the bed next to him and nuzzles into his side. “It’s just a test run though. Don’t get too excited. I could do terribly and fail and have to withdraw again.”

“You won’t,” Akaashi whispers into his shoulder. “But if you do, we’ll pick you back up. Would you keep working at the spa?”

“Yeah,” Kei answers easily. “I might as well - I can cut down my hours if I need to.” Tsukki presses into Akaashi’s shoulders and frowns at the tension he finds there. “Why didn’t you tell me these hurt?” Akaashi doesn’t answer him but sits up in front of Kei knowingly while he works out the knots. “Besides, if I didn’t, who would do this?”

“That logic makes no sense,” Akaashi argues, but he relaxes into the touch. “We should’ve dated a masseuse much earlier.”

“I knew you were staying with me for the free back rubs,” Kei teases. 

Yeah, he still had a ton of things to work out for himself. But maybe he felt readier for it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a bit more unsatisfying than I intended it to be but this fic also went on and was supposed to be a one shot lmao 
> 
> do not fret - I am considering making this into a series and continuing it explaining how the other three wound up together and akaashi's past and definitely will be writing a yamateru fic so stay tuned <3 
> 
> thank you for coming along with me on this journey!

**Author's Note:**

> i love comments and kudos <3 pls leave them if you so please


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